IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

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Modern technology has really made human lives simple and enabled them to explore areas
such
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 as outer
space
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.
Although
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 exploring it may be beneficial for human beings, some
people
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 feel that the
government
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 should spend money to improve living standards on Earth and focus more on the current world problems.
However
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, I would favour more toward the latter opinion for some reasons that are set out below. Nowadays, scientists have tried observing
space
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 to find new planets for humans to live in as overpopulation has become one of the main problems humans are facing now.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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 has really shown a lot of support toward
this
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 project by funding NASA and other
space
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 research programs to create new shuttles, develop new advanced telescopes, and provide new training centres for new astronauts.
As a result
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, the
government
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 can give more funding to NASA to prepare
space
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 research more precisely and find new planets and knowledge about
space
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.
However
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, some
people
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 feel that
this
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 decision is not beneficial for them and that the
government
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 should allocate more funding toward issues related to
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 today. The
government
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 should have given more support to the health, education and public facility sectors.
For example
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, improving public facilities
such
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 as building transport between long-distance cities to help
people
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 travel faster and sending food, providing shelters and free education for poor families.
This
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 funding can be used to help
people
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 improve their living standards in the present time.
To conclude
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, it is better for the
government
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 to understand the problem humans are facing now and prioritize more funding towards the solution that can be done rather than focusing on future research that result is still unclear.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which illustrates a sensible structure. However, the introduction could be more engaging with a succinct summary of both perspectives before stating your position.
task achievement
You present well-developed ideas and reasons for your stance on the topic, but ensure that each paragraph fully explores each main point with more elaboration and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
While your transitions between ideas in the body paragraphs are generally clear, improving the logical progression and connections between sentences and paragraphs could enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a well-balanced view. However, providing more specific examples, such as case studies or facts, would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made. Adding a final thought or recommendation would leave a stronger impact on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are clear and your stance on the issue is well articulated, making your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
You effectively point out the potential drawbacks of space exploration funding and the benefits of reallocating this to immediate human needs.
task achievement
The language used is appropriately academic and formal, which suits the task well.
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