IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people say that human society has developed into a throw-away society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #society #plastic #bags #rubbish
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the problem of environmental pollution is extremely urgent.
People
Use synonyms
 have become less responsible and often clog out everything around them, which is why nature suffers.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the various causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem and their potential solutions.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost cause of developing human
society
Use synonyms
 into a throw-away
society
Use synonyms
 is aggressive marketing. Because of the fact that new
production
Replace the word
products
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 colourful and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
attracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
show examples
 attention,
people
Use synonyms
 want to buy new things rather than repair or use old ones.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 leads to increased waste and environmental degradation.
However
Linking Words
, there is a possible solution to
this
Linking Words
 cause. The government should introduce legislation regulating the amount of production of materials hazardous
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, companies should use eco-friendly packaging to avoid polluting nature and promote sustainability. The second cause is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of awareness. Many
people
Use synonyms
 do not know about the damage caused by rubbish and plastic and throw it away everywhere, unaware of the serious consequences it will have in the future. The main solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem is spreading information about how important it is to be eco-friendly and how to be more like that. Schools can hold lessons where teachers will talk about how students can avoid spoiling nature and protect it for future generations. In conclusion, in order for
society
Use synonyms
 not to become a throw-away
society
Use synonyms
, all
people
Use synonyms
 should try not to spoil the planet,
that is
Linking Words
, not to throw garbage and plastic carelessly. Everyone should contribute and do everything possible to ensure that a clean planet remains for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations to enjoy and thrive in.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both causes and solutions of the problem. However, it could benefit from more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. There is a logical progression of ideas, but consider using transition words more effectively to enhance coherence.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the task by identifying and discussing both the causes and potential solutions to the problem of a throw-away society.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a comprehensive overview and summary of the issues discussed.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is supported with reasoning, making the argument clear and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: