IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and bar chart below show the average monthly rainfall and temperature for one region of East Africa. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph and bar chart below show the average monthly rainfall and temperature for one region of East Africa. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.
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The diagrams depict the levels of
rainfall
Use synonyms
 in
millimeters
Change the spelling
millimetres
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 and
temperature
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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on average per month in one area of eastern Africa.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the recordings of
temperature
Use synonyms
 fluctuate persistently, showing comparatively higher figures in
spring
Correct article usage
the spring
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 and autumn seasons. Interestingly, in these two
periods
Add a comma
periods,
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 the region experiences a large amount of
rainfall
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, especially during spring. As can be seen from the line graph, the average
temperature
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 in January accounts for around 200 mm. There is a significant increase in
temperature
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, reaching a peak
of
Change preposition
apply
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in March
decreasing
Correct word choice
and decreasing
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 sharply in July. From July to October, the average
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 area gradually again to over , after declining to roughly in the
last
Linking Words
 month. The figure for the total
rainfall
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 in January is approximately 20 . Between January and April, the average
rainfall
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 a considerable growth to 28 , and
then
Linking Words
 , hitting the lowest of 2 in July. The average
rainfall
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 in the region of East Africa significantly from 2 in July to above 15 in November, after decreasing to 5 in the
last
Linking Words
 month.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rainfall, temperature with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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