IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century will have much more free time. To what extent has the prediction come true? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, almost all sectors are increasingly dominated by the use of
technology
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, leading to the opinion that
people
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 may lose their sense of responsibility and have more spare
time
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. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement because
technology
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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often demands
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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's
time
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 through constant connectivity and the expectation of multitasking. First and foremost,
although
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technology
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 can help to reduce physical efforts compared to the past, it is not entirely autonomous and still requires human involvement in the process. The existence of
technology
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 merely alters individuals' job responsibilities and creates new expectations, keeping
people
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 just as busy as before.
For instance
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, employees may no longer need to send or receive manual letters, but they are now required to respond to work emails on computers.
This
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 means they still fulfil their working hours using different media, without a significant reduction in their
overall
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 tasks.
Furthermore
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, the advancement of current machines encourages
people
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 to become multitaskers or take on double workloads. Some businesses often recruit a few workers who are qualified in several fields for one position. To illustrate, engineers are expected to maintain more than one machine
while
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 simultaneously attending training sessions, as automated devices no longer require constant monitoring.
As a result
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, their days become packed with tasks, often leading to overtime, and they may only have free
time
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 on weekends. In conclusion, the prediction that society would have much leisure
time
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 in the 21st century
due to
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 technological advancements has not entirely come true.
Instead
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, it has introduced additional responsibilities and the need for new skills.

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task achievement
Ensure that each argument is consistently supported by nuanced examples and detailed reasoning to enhance your task response.
coherence cohesion
Aim for transitions and linkages between sentences and paragraphs to be smoother for even greater coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that ties together your main points effectively.
task achievement
You've provided a complete response to the question, addressing the prediction and giving reasons for why it may not have come true.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, which adds depth to your argument.
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