Some people think advertisements control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #advertisements #control #purchase #sources #information #products

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In a world where

advertisements

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are everywhere, some

people

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doubt their true purpose. Some believe that these are an excellent source of information and promotion of products.

However

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, others believe that it affects their purchases. I believe the latter. In my opinion, they simply help consumers make better, informed choices.

This

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essay will examine the views of both sides of the argument. Recent studies have proven that

advertisements

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deliver more than information, and serve as consumer influencers.

First,

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various famous corporations use

advertisements

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to persuade

people

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's thoughts. By using emotional appeals, ads create an urge to buy their

product

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. When a person sees a commodity being used by others, they feel compelled to buy it because it is popular or trendy.

Second,

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some unnecessary goods are advertised as essential. Conglomerates often emphasize problems and present their

product

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as the solution.

This

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could unfairly sway public opinion.

Finally

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, companies usually try to capitalize on brand awareness. Since

people

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are affected by

this

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, they are more likely to acquire familiar items. A clear example of

this

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is Tesla. They have built a strong brand awareness, resulting in market dominance.

advertisements

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are important.

Nevertheless

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, some corporations could exploit commercials to control

people

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's decisions.

Therefore

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, individuals need to be aware and have a clear mind when shopping, so they can make their choices.

Submitted by alfred on Tue Aug 06 2024

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task achievement

While the essay covers both sides of the argument effectively, it is important to slightly refine the thesis statement to reflect the essay's stance more succinctly. Consider stating: 'However, others believe that advertisements influence their purchases negatively. I hold the latter opinion' instead of 'I believe the latter. In my opinion, they simply help consumers make better, informed choices.'

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. For instance, the introductory paragraph and the paragraph discussing recent studies should be seamlessly connected.

task achievement

The essay presents clear main points and justifies them with relevant examples, such as references to Tesla and Dyson.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is maintained well. Each paragraph discusses a single idea and the arguments are well organized.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

320 words

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Some people think advertisements control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?