Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, with the great technological development, children have been spending hours daily on their smartphones.
While
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this
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trend is clearly a negative development, I believe that using the phone with limitations does no harm but actually has a positive effect on kids. On the one hand, many schools tend to add digital resources
such
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as learning apps and games;
this
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method has proved to enhance the learning experience, enabling youngsters to see the “boring” school curriculums in a fun, vivid way.
On the other hand
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, if we took away these gadgets from young learners,
this
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would clearly affect their performance.
Moreover
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, nowadays, a number of social media platforms,
such
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as TikTok and YouTube, now have strong content restriction policies that are clearly executed, making them suitable for children.
For instance
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, YouTube has introduced a platform merely designed for children that displays only suitable content and channels.
On the other hand
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,
while
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some platforms have content restrictions as mentioned above,
overall
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the internet is a deep, dark place that contains a lot of inappropriate topics,
such
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as porn, mimicry, and a wide range of inappropriate language usage.
Furthermore
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, social media is full of cyber criminals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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make use of young boys and girls to gain money or to fulfil a sexual desire.
As a result
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, kids put in
such
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circumstances are likely to get traumatized, developing serious mental conditions
such
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as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
In addition
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to
this
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, serious health problems are associated with sitting on screens for long periods of time,
such
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as eye problems resulting from continuous exposure to certain rays, which cause eye strain and dryness. In conclusion,
while
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mobile phones clearly have a lot of negative effects on young ones, I believe that these drawbacks can be overcome by the correct settlement of boundaries so these gadgets can positively affect our new generation.
Submitted by m.mahmoud.2005 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, consider providing more specific personal experiences to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify and further develop the contrasting viewpoints to balance the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively structured your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea, which enhances readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your ideas, providing a cohesive argument.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by examining both the positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage among children.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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