IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that ebooks and modern technology will replace traditional newspaper and magazine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #ebooks #technology #newspaper #magazine
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In the contemporary world, there is a growing debate surrounding the topic of whether
technology
 will replace traditional reading materials.
While
 some argue that it will help save individuals' lives and reduce environmental issues, I strongly agree with
this
 point of view for several reasons that will be discussed below.
To begin
 with, technologies have made our lives easier by simplifying our daily tasks including reading. To illustrate, in the past individuals had to go to libraries in person in order to fetch for specific book or purchase one,
while
 now they can make their orders online whenever they are and want.
Thus
, technologies saved people time and effort compared to the past,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the process of buying a book became much faster and
flexible
Correct quantifier usage
more flexible
show examples
.
Additionally
, technologies contribute to saving our environment.
In other words
, using ebooks and e-reading materials helps readers to reduce their carbon footprint. Consequentially, they will promote sustainability.
Moreover
, readers can take advantage of services provided by reading apps
such
 as translation. To elaborate, if want to translate the meaning of words into another language, they only have to click on it and
technology
 will do its magic.
Hence
, individuals are not only the ones who are taking advantage of
technology
 but
also
 our environment.
Overall
, and
after
this
 essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that "
technology
 is a game-changer in terms of reading, making it quite convenient and flexible. I am confident that
technology
 will replace traditional reading habits.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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task achievement
You have clearly addressed the topic and provided a comprehensive response. However, further development of your points and examples could strengthen your argument. For instance, providing more detailed examples on how technology enhances the reading experience or specific environmental benefits can add depth.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and the ideas flow smoothly. However, ensure to connect your points more explicitly to reinforce the coherence. For instance, linking the advantages of technological convenience more directly to the environmental benefits can help in making your argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. This offers a cohesive start and end to your essay, enhancing the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly when discussing technological convenience and environmental benefits.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obsolete
  • ubiquitous
  • environmentally conscious
  • cost-effective
  • technological integration
  • multimedia elements
  • consumer base
  • declining circulation
  • sustainable
  • monetization
  • subscriptions
  • paywalls
  • interactive content
  • digital formats
  • publication
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