Some people think that children should not watch television, because it has negative effects, while others believe it helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people argue that
television
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could affect in a negative way to children
while
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othersbelieve
Correct your spelling
others believe
is a useful tool for their education.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view that
television
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, is more harmful than helpful.
To begin
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with,
television
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has become more popular over
the
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apply
show examples
time
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,
given
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giving
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a wide variety of programs for the youngsters
such
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as educational shows, informative programs, documentaries,etc.
This
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can be helpful for children to learn more about the actual situation in the world, about other cultures , languages and subjects in an engaging way.
For example
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Dora the Explorer, a globally famous kids' TV show, where you can learn through educational adventures English or Spanish.
Besides
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that TV can be a great source of entertainment, helping kids to relax and have fun during the weekends.
On the other hand
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, an overconsumption of TV can be damaging for minors.
This
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means not just in a physical way, causing sight problems like myopia or leading to a sedentary style, but
also
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contributes
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contributing
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to mental problems
due to
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the violence and inappropriate themes. Someone who got used to
this
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kind of
television
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content at a young age is highly likely to have personality issues that impact those close to them. In conclusion,
although
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television
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has its benefits,
such
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as learning material and
an
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apply
show examples
educational entertainment from
time
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to
time
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. In my opinion,
television
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has been giving rise to health and mental disorders so far and it will increase over
time
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with the development of technology
Submitted by 17maria0 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates back to the question. This will improve the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Expand more on your opinions and how they relate to the content discussed to create a stronger, coherent argument overall.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, staying relevant to the topic throughout.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of 'Dora the Explorer' to illustrate your point about educational shows.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • inappropriate content
  • mature themes
  • educational programs
  • cultural exposure
  • parental controls
  • productive activities
  • entertainment
  • engaging content
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