People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this? Huy Cao

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In the modern era, most people around the world are too busy earning extra money, which in turn, they can not devote their

time

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to their loved ones.

This

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essay will discuss the reasons for

this

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trend and its associated effects.

To begin

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, one of the main causes of

this

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problem is the nature of work and study. Breadwinners have to work busily all day so they have very little

time

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to spend with their family.

For instance

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, in Vietnam, workers usually spend an average of 8 to 12 hours a day working. When they are attached to their job, they

also

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need to rest.

Therefore

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, they can not have enough

time

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for their household. Meanwhile, adolescents today are

also

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under great pressure from the study.

For example

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, children in Vietnam often spend 8 hours a day and 7 days a week at school,

not to mention

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extra classes in the evening.

Consequently

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, they

also

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have no free

time

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for their families. Moving on to the influence

this

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trend may bring to families and society. The carefree between parents and their children might lead to some psychological traumas. Spending less

time

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means individuals do not have enough

time

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to share and comfort each other, so family members will lose cohesion and understanding.

For example

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,there are some statistics that show that the rate of children suffering from autism and depression comes from a lack of care from their parents. In conclusion, the reasons why people lack focus on gathering more with their family include career and indifference to adults.

Therefore

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, people should spend free

time

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with their families so they can bond and live happier.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. For example, the paragraph on job commitments and education pressure should clearly differentiate between these two points.

task achievement

Enhance the explanation of how societal effects are also impacted, besides the family dynamics discussed. This will deepen your essay's task response.

task achievement

The essay provides specific examples, such as statistics from Vietnam, to support claims.

coherence cohesion

A clear introduction and conclusion provide a strong framework for the essay.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are logically sequenced, transitioning well from causes to effects.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this? Huy Cao

Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

how personal values influence your decision-making process. Consider reflecting on the values that are most important to you, how they guide your actions, and how they shape your interactions with others. Use the vocabulary you've learned to support your ideas.

Some people think that the amount of money spent on the library is a waste as new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?