REVISION ----- All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#revision #companies #sports #community #facilities

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Businesses not only contribute to society through taxes they pay

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

by building

facilities

Use synonyms

sports

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or other

community

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services. I strongly agree that large companies should invest in

community

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facilities

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as a means of promoting economic development and enhancing public perception. First and foremost, large companies should build

facilities

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for society

due to

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their potential contribution to local economic development. Investment in

community

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facilities

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can stimulate local economies by creating jobs during construction and attracting new businesses to the area. To illustrate, the development of new public libraries involves interior designers for planning and construction. Once open, these libraries create job opportunities for individuals

such

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as librarians, administrators, or even security staff.

As a result

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, the unemployment rate can decrease, thereby improving the

overall

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well-being of the

community

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Furthermore

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, companies are under the spotlight for the impacts they create. When big businesses provide

sports

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venues or public infrastructure, it can significantly enhance their brand image.

Therefore

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, if they demonstrate a commitment to the well-being of the

community

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this

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will help them

in leading

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lead

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a positive public image, which could

also

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improve their revenue. TJ company,

for example

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, consistently supports society through sponsorship of

sports

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activities and the construction of public tennis courts near its factories.

This

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highlights how many people trust their campaigns and consider their products, ultimately fostering future business opportunities for the company. In conclusion, it is highly advantageous for large corporations to invest in

sports

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and local infrastructure.

Such

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actions are not solely driven by a sense of contribution to

community

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welfare, but

also

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by the recognition that these activities can enhance their reputation.

Submitted by nineband9s on Sat Dec 28 2024

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task achievement

Offer more varied examples to cover different aspects of the topic, such as environmental or social impacts.

coherence cohesion

Provide a transitional phrase at the beginning of the second main point for smoother flow.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Arguments are logical and well-organized, contributing to overall coherence.

task achievement

You provided a strong task response by addressing the advantages for both the community and companies.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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