young people who commit crimes should be punished in the same way as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is argued that people below the legal
age
of 18 should be treated in the same Use synonyms
way
as Use synonyms
adults
by the officers of the law. Use synonyms
This
essay disagrees completely with that statement because those youngsters aren't totally aware of much legal stuff.
It is conspicuous that citizens who are below the Linking Words
age
of 18 aren't completely mature in several aspects of life.Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
this
reason, it would be too rough to treat them the same as Linking Words
adults
.Indeed, if those aforementioned were judged in the same Use synonyms
way
as mature people, the legal Use synonyms
age
wouldn't be valuable anymore.It has clearly been decided that the Use synonyms
age
of 18 was the Use synonyms
right
moment to responsibilize young citizensUse synonyms
,
because the community is conscious of the fact that the whole period before 18 years old is devoted to learning.During their schooling period , Remove the comma
apply
for example
, pupils have the Linking Words
right
to make behavioural mistakes without being legally judged in front of a justice court.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, many others claim that young people should be punished in the same Linking Words
way
as Use synonyms
adults
by authorities because they are considered, starting from a certain Use synonyms
age
, capable of distinguishing between Use synonyms
right
and wrong things to do.In Use synonyms
this
regard, a teenager of 12 years old Linking Words
for instance
,is aware of the fact that assaulting his peer or simply bullying him, is out of law.Linking Words
However
,it is Linking Words
also
recognised that every human being is in need of making mistakes in order to enhance.Linking Words
Furthermore
,our society already features a justice court which is dedicated to minors.
In conclusion, it would be ridiculous for authorities to behave with minors in the same Linking Words
way
as Use synonyms
adults
for the simple reason that those youngsters have the Use synonyms
right
to make mistakes.Even though, it is fair to notice that an adapted justice court for extreme cases is established in order to create balance.Use synonyms
Submitted by namoisma on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points being made, especially in terms of explaining how young people may not fully understand legal responsibilities.
coherence cohesion
Try to strengthen the logical connections between points to improve coherence. Additionally, use more transition words to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a stance against punishing young people the same as adults, and this position is maintained consistently throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively setting up and rounding off the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?