PARENTS WANT TO ACHIEVE BALANCE BETWEEN FAMILY AND CAREER BUT ONLY A FEW MANAGE TO ACHIEVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE REASON? DISCUSS POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS AND PROVIDE EXAMPLES.

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In the modern era, it is very difficult for parents to maintain

the

Correct article usage

show examples

balance between their

work

Use synonyms

life and their family members. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is because of long working hours to support their families.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the main reasons

along with

Linking Words

the solutions before reaching to conclusion. To commence with, parents must do overtime or stay longer at

work

Use synonyms

so that they can earn good money for their offspring.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the article published in ‘NEWS DAILY’ a large number of the population above the age of 40 in Canada do

jobs

Use synonyms

on minimum wages so in order to achieve a good lifestyle they have to do two

jobs

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

results in having less time with their family members.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some organizations want their employees to

work

Use synonyms

10-12 hours a day for 6 days a week to increase their production and do not give their employees a proper vacation period.

For example

Linking Words

, most small companies or new businesses hire fewer workers than they need and

then

Linking Words

exploit them by giving them more

work

Use synonyms

without holidays. The practicable remedies to solve

this

Linking Words

issue can be possible with the help of the government by making

such

Linking Words

laws against employers not exploiting their workers, maintaining proper working hours and giving vacations to employees.

Also

Linking Words

, people working on low wages should join some educational institution to learn some skills which can help them to get good salary

jobs

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, colleges like Seneca and Humber offer many part-time courses in which they can learn skills related to trade occupations which can help them to increase their chances of getting

jobs

Use synonyms

with higher packages. In conclusion, I would like to say that

this

Linking Words

problem can be solved to a large extent by involving some efforts from both employers and the government, but parents should

also

Linking Words

avoid doing low-wage and stressful

jobs

Use synonyms

sainimuskaan387Sat Dec 28 2024

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task achievement

Consider diversifying the points made within body paragraphs for a more comprehensive discussion, perhaps by addressing the impact of cultural or socio-economic factors on work-life balance more explicitly.

coherence cohesion

You might want to employ a few more transitional phrases to ensure seamless flow between ideas, particularly when transitioning between the problem and solution sections.

task achievement

Explore further examples or case studies to enhance the richness of your examples and make your argument even more persuasive.

task achievement

You have clearly defined the problem and suggested practical and understandable solutions, pointing towards a government role as well as personal improvement, demonstrating a thorough engagement with the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in clearly communicating your main points and proposed solutions.

task achievement

Relevant examples strengthen your response, such as referencing specific educational institutions and studies, adding credibility and specificity to your arguments.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
time management
support systems
childcare
traditional gender roles
societal expectations
financial stability
flexible working hours
remote work options
burnout

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PARENTS WANT TO ACHIEVE BALANCE BETWEEN FAMILY AND CAREER BUT ONLY A FEW MANAGE TO ACHIEVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE REASON? DISCUSS POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS AND PROVIDE EXAMPLES.

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremly high salaries.Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that goverments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.