Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals during their visit to historical or cultural places, to what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many crowds travel to other countries to see the historical area and the main landmarks .
Therefore
Linking Words
, Some individuals believe that travellers should be paid more than citizens . I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because it will increase the economy of the country .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will make the entrance of the original people easier.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if a lot of humans who are interested in history visit these
places
Use synonyms
and charge more than usual it will immediately raise the city's economic system and it will provide them with good funds to start fixing any problem they could have .
For instance
Linking Words
, using that cash they will be able to rebuild streets and
also
Linking Words
create new
places
Use synonyms
with better facilities
such
Linking Words
as schools and colleges.
In addition
Linking Words
, they can make their city safer by buying modern cameras or better tools to prevent any crime .
Secondly
Linking Words
, with all of the humans who are visiting
this
Linking Words
place from all around the world, it will give the original population from
this
Linking Words
country the right to visit their cultural
places
Use synonyms
. To illustrate it will provide them a ticket with a good deal of money that everyone is able to pay so they can look at their past and remind them of their ancestors . In conclusion, in my opinion , raising the ticket money for important
places
Use synonyms
for foreigners who visit is a good way to increase the economy of the state and preserve the rights of citizens .
Submitted by hooralahmadx4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay addresses the task by presenting reasons for charging tourists more, expanding on why these reasons outweigh any potential drawbacks would present a more balanced view.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples and possibly counterarguments to strengthen your essay's depth.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, consider better transitions between ideas to enhance flow. This includes using more connecting phrases or words between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing and summarizing your viewpoint.
task achievement
You effectively argued your points regarding economic benefits and accessibility for locals, which supports your stance well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: