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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrated the survey on one social centre in
Mebourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
, Australia, about the participation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different activities from 2000 to 2020. The result showed that the Film club was the most popular
activity
Use synonyms
 across these years.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 showed stable interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the film club. There were always around 60 to 70
people
Use synonyms
 joined the
activity
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2022. The
number
Use synonyms
 only dropped a little to 60
people
Use synonyms
 for
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
while
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010.
Simliarly
Correct your spelling
Similarly
,
people
Use synonyms
 attended the martial arts
activity
Use synonyms
 in a stable way. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
participantion
Correct your spelling
participants
 remains 30 to 40 from 2000 to 2020. At the same time, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 attending the Table
tennie
Correct your spelling
tennis
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 marked
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
particiatants
Correct your spelling
participants
 jumps from 20
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010 to over 50
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2020, which is over
100
Correct article usage
a 100
show examples
% increase. Over 10
people
Use synonyms
 started to attend the musical performances
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010, with
stable
Add an article
a stable
the stable
show examples
 increase
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2015 and 2020.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, the musical
performances
Change the noun form
performance
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
 was
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
people
Use synonyms
's attention. The
number
Use synonyms
 of participants drops from just below 30
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010 to below 10
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2020. Less than one-third
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 were still joining
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
. All in all, the graph showed that the film club remained the most popular
activity
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2020.
Submitted by powang.mbaapplication on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words activity, people, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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