IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have to many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#people #choices
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In recent years, it has been thought that
people
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 have different
options
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 in their
lives
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.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 view because modern life gives
people
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freedom
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 which increases opportunities and variety of
choices
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,
along with
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 current lifestyle convinced
people
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 that they have lots of
choices
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 in their
lives
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. From one angle, modern life gives
people
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freedom
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 which makes the opportunity of increasing
choices
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 possible these days. Many sectors are expanding and anyone can choose what they want to be in the future
such
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 as choosing a university or a career path
due to
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 the development which gives everyone the
freedom
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 to choose and that helps to increase opportunities of
options
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 for
people
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.
For instance
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, there are many sectors of work and a lot of different good universities which are competing with each other and that means the opportunities increase and
people
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 choose what they want.
However
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,
people
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 recently have become confused
due to
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 the great variety of work and study chances.
On the other hand
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, everything these days has convinced
people
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 about the idea of having a lot of
options
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 in their
lives
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 and one reason for
this
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 phenomenon is technology advancement.
For example
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, there are many advertisements for the same product but from different companies, these campaigns send a message unconsciously to
people
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 that they have many
choices
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 for one item. To illustrate that, General and Toshiba have the same devices and their adverts have the same features but their prices are different and
that is
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 what makes more
options
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 for
people
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 to lead them to buy more and more. Having said that
this
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 may cause several problems for
people
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 because
this
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 idea might lead to delusion. In conclusion, modern life gives
people
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 all over the world
freedom
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 which leads to expanded
options
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 and chances for
people
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’s
lives
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, and modern lifestyle has persuaded
people
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have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 many
choices
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 in their
lives
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.
However
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, I believe that nowadays
people
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 have a lot of
choices
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 in their
lives
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure that you are fully addressing all aspects of the prompt. Consider discussing both sides of the argument or providing counter-arguments to show a well-rounded understanding.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more varied linking words or phrases to create smoother transitions between points or paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task well by providing a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant points, such as the influence of modern technology on choice.
coherence cohesion
A good introduction and conclusion that clearly summarize the main points and restate the main opinion, which reinforces the overall structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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