IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Art classes such as painting or drawing are important for children’s development, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as painting or drawing, have been recognized as important tools for children's development;
therefore
Linking Words
, the idea that these
classes
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory in high school is reasonable. I agree with the statement as I believe that there are several compelling reasons why making
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 compulsory can have positive effects on
students
Use synonyms
' development. First of all,
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 can help
students
Use synonyms
 develop important
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as creativity, critical thinking, and problem-solving. In
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 must use their imaginations and find new solutions to the challenges presented to them. These
skills
Use synonyms
 are not only beneficial in
art
Use synonyms
, but can
also
Linking Words
 be applied to other subjects and to life in general.
In addition
Linking Words
 to developing important
skills
Use synonyms
,
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 can provide
students
Use synonyms
 with an outlet for self-expression and a sense of accomplishment. For many
students
Use synonyms
,
art
Use synonyms
 is a way to communicate and explore their emotions, thoughts, and experiences. Making
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 compulsory can help
students
Use synonyms
 develop a greater appreciation for the arts, and provide them with a sense of pride and satisfaction in their work.
Finally
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 can help
students
Use synonyms
 develop a greater appreciation for the world around them. Through their artistic creations,
such
Linking Words
 as paintings and sculpture,
students
Use synonyms
 can explore new cultures, traditions, and perspectives.
This
Linking Words
 can help broaden their horizons and foster a sense of global citizenship. In conclusion, I believe that
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are important for children's development, and making them compulsory in high school is a reasonable step. By providing
students
Use synonyms
 with the opportunity to develop important
skills
Use synonyms
, express themselves creatively, and broaden their perspectives,
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 can help prepare
students
Use synonyms
 for success in both their personal and professional lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, aim to include more specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay does a commendable job of discussing the benefits of art classes, adding real-world examples or citing studies could make your argument even stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion. To further enhance it, consider varying your sentence structures and linking words to create a more engaging read. While your logical structure and the presence of an introduction and conclusion are commendable, employing a wider range of linguistic devices can make your writing more dynamic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: