You are moving to a new country to go to university and will need a part - time job . You have a friend who lives in that country . Write a letter to your friend . In your letter , apologise for not staying in touch explain why you're moving to this country ask your friend if he / she can help you find a job .

#country #university #part #time #job #friend #lives #apologise #touch #re

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Hello MR Osama , I hope you are doing well . I am

finally

Linking Words

moved to here and I am going to study in university. In the beginning , I moved

Change preposition

apply

show examples

here,

Therefore

Linking Words

, I

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

to hard work ,

Moreover

Linking Words

, I am going to study accounting ,

Therefore

Linking Words

, we will not be able to meet too many , I hope you can understand my situation. Honestly, I moved

Change preposition

apply

show examples

here to be far from my friends

also

Linking Words

I want to focus on my future. when I was in my my country , I couldn't study any more I used to go with my friends

instead

Linking Words

of studying . I saved some

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money ,

However

Linking Words

, The accommodation here is so expensive the food as well , So , I want to get

part-time

Add an article

a part-time

show examples

job. I would like to work 30 hours per week or at

lest

Correct your spelling

least

show examples

25 hours , If you can help me to get

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

or recommend some shops for me. Thank you . I am looking forward to hearing back from you . Best regards Osama Alshubrmy

Submitted by osama.mezal7 on Mon Dec 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to develop a clear logical structure throughout your letter, including an introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

Be mindful of grammatical errors and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

task achievement

You have successfully addressed all the task requirements: apologizing for not staying in touch, explaining the move, and asking for help finding a job.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is friendly and suitable for writing to a friend.

coherence cohesion

Your paragraphing is fairly consistent, and you've managed to separate distinct ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

183 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Write a letter to your manager to nominate a person for best employee of the year award. Who is this person Why did you choose him? What is the characteristic of a good employee?