More companies should employ older people. Do you agree?

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Older people ought to be hired by most companies
due to
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certain circumstances, but it can spark the public's attention as to whether they should be employed or not. In my opinion, I believe hiring senior individuals would bring more drawbacks,
such
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as
company
Use synonyms
instability and hindering the young generation's growth. The presence of a substantial number of elderly employees in a
company
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will lead to detrimental sides because they cannot facilitate stable performances in their workplaces.
This
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is caused by the low physical abilities and delicate bodies that old people have, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are restrained from maximizing their work, which makes them strive to work efficiently and effectively. If they cannot provide and finish their responsibilities, the
company
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will struggle to maintain its products or services. To exemplify, a small manufacturer in Japan became bankrupt because it experienced a decrease in its production
due to
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old workers who could not work a full day since they had physical constraints.
Furthermore
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, it would undoubtedly make it hard for young ages to find jobs, which leads to negative developments. Older groups need to pass those opportunities to the young generation so that they will obtain more experience and skills to develop themselves, considering there is a high possibility for them to attain auspicious futures.
Otherwise
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, if they cannot find any occupations because the older people have filled and dominated all the positions, they will not be able to make a living properly to secure their basic needs, which leads to poverty at young ages.
To conclude
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, using senior workers would not be a sensible idea since it can result in adverse effects on the
company
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itself
due to
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low performance and damage to the economy, which is poverty.

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task achievement
Your essay covers the topic well, but try to balance the argument with more reasons why older people should be employed.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your paragraphs with clearer transitions to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, giving the essay a clear start and finish.
task achievement
You provided a specific example of a company in Japan to support your argument, which strengthens your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • diversity
  • inclusiveness
  • perspectives
  • work ethic
  • turnover rates
  • loyalty
  • skills shortages
  • mentoring
  • expertise
  • ageism
  • stereotypes
  • equitable
  • capacity
What to do next:
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