Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Many people argue that sponsoring
sports
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is a good thing,
while
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others think
otherwise
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.
This
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essay will discuss both views and I will argue that
this
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has more advantages rather than disadvantages. The supportive side argues that the occurrence of advertisements in sporting events will bring revenue to all stakeholders, whether it is the organizer or the team.
Therefore
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, all participants will
then
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have enough cash for themselves to operate,
thus
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making the
quality
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of the competition much better rather than not accepting sponsors at all.
On the other hand
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, the opposing side of the debate argues that the case is
otherwise
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. The partnership with companies in
sports
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will bring risk to make
sports
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that put profit first over
quality
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. In short, sponsorships will encourage a championship that focuses more on monetizing their event. In my opinion, the appearance of
sponsorship
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in
sports
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has more benefits rather than costs. I argue that the main advantage comes from the financial benefit of
sponsorship
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that could bring opportunities for the organizer and the team to develop their
quality
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even more, since
this
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process needs resources to sustain and the
sponsorship
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could offer
this
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.
For example
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, the English Premier League is known for its top-notch
quality
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in football league, thanks to the abundance of
sponsorship
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that they have with many international companies. These partnerships give them enough resources to perfect their games in a sustainable way.
However
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, it needs to be ensured that sponsorships will not affect the attitude of all stakeholders to prioritize profits over the
quality
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of the competition. In conclusion, I believe
sponsorship
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plays a crucial role in the development of
sports
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through financial incentives. By balancing the interests of all participants involved and putting the competition
quality
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first,
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I believe
sponsorship
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will not affect
sports
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in a degrading way.
Submitted by rhisaaidilla on

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task achievement
Ensure to elaborate further on opposing views to strengthen the discussion and show a balanced understanding of both sides.
task achievement
Provide more examples from different types of sports or regions to diversify and broaden the perspective of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by utilizing a clear linking of ideas within paragraphs to guide readers smoothly through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance paragraph development by integrating transitional phrases between points to strengthen cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's stance, setting the stage for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's opinion and ties the essay together, providing a sense of closure.
task achievement
Arguments are supported with relevant examples, particularly the mention of the English Premier League, which aids in illustrating the point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sports sponsorship
  • financial support
  • athletes
  • brand visibility
  • awareness
  • commercialization
  • integrity
  • dependencies
  • corporate funds
  • unethical practices
  • strategic partnerships
  • communal relations
  • promote healthy lifestyles
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