IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

one of major issues facing world today is over population. What problem arise from this situation? What measures can be taken to deal with it?

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It is evident that the rising global
population
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 has become a significant challenge.
This
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 essay will examine the drawbacks associated with
overpopulation
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 and propose potential solutions to prevent
further
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population
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 growth
while
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 mitigating its effects.
Overpopulation
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 results in various difficulties.
Firstly
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, as the number of
individuals
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 increases, the demand for essentials like housing, clean water and healthcare rises.
However
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, these fundamental supplies are limited, leaving many
individuals
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 struggling for their basic needs.
For example
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, in many metropolises, housing shortages and food insecurity are common issues.
Secondly
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, providing employment and public services for massive populations becomes a significant challenge for governments, often resulting in higher unemployment rates and strained infrastructure.
Thirdly
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, the world faces environmental crises by accelerating the destruction of natural ecosystems. Increased emissions from cars and industries contribute to higher levels of greenhouse gases,
while
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 the production of non-biodegradable waste,
such
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 as plastic,
further
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 damages the environment.
Moreover
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,
population
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 growth leads to the depletion of natural resources
such
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 as fresh water and fossil fuels, making them increasingly scarce. To address the issue of
overpopulation
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 and its effects, a combination of preventive measures and strategies to alleviate its impact is crucial. Preventive measures, aimed at curbing
further
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population
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 growth, include promoting family planning programs, raising awareness, and providing incentives for smaller families. Governments should
also
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 invest in education and healthcare to ensure access to these services. In parallel, strategies to manage the effects of
overpopulation
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,
such
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 as efficient resource management, renewable energy investment, and stricter environmental regulations, are crucial.
Individuals
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also
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 play a role by adopting sustainable practices,
such
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 as reducing waste and conserving resources. In conclusion,
overpopulation
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 presents significant challenges,
such
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 as resource depletion, environmental damage, and job scarcity.
However
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, by implementing preventive policies, managing resources efficiently, and raising public awareness,
this
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 critical issue can be effectively tackled through collaborative efforts from both governments and
individuals
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.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider adding more specific examples that illustrate the problems and solutions related to overpopulation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between the various points discussed by using more linking words and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the topic effectively, maintaining a strong focus throughout.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are well-organized, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of overpopulation.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt with well-developed points and proposed solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic explosion
  • sustainable development
  • natural resources
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • pollution levels
  • public services
  • infrastructure
  • unemployment rate
  • poverty levels
  • food scarcity
  • water scarcity
  • essential resources
  • housing shortages
  • slums
  • substandard living conditions
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