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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from the government than students in other fields (e.g. business, language). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#science #technology #development #society #students #support #government #fields #e #g #business #language
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Many people suppose that
science
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students
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 should receive more financial support from governments than
students
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 in other fields,
such
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 as business, language or
art
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 because of the former's greater contributions to
society
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. I strongly disagree with
this
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 view and I will explain my reasons in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, supporters of
this
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 view have several reasons to justify their position.
Firstly
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,
science
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students
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 usually require expensive state-of-the-
art
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 equipment and materials to conduct their research or experiments, which are essential for advancing scientific knowledge and innovation.
For instance
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, the research on vaccines usually costs a great deal of money.
Secondly
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,
science
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 and technology can have a significant impact on improving the living standards and well-being of people.
For example
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, medical breakthroughs,
such
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 as vaccines and antibiotics, can save millions of lives and prevent diseases.
Similarly
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, technological inventions,
such
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 as the internet, smartphones and renewable energy, can enhance communication, education and environmental sustainability.
On the other hand
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, I believe that other fields of study are equally important and beneficial for the community, and they should not be neglected or discriminated against.
This
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 is because each field has its own unique contributions and values that enrich the culture, economy and diversity of
society
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.
For example
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,
art
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students
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 can express the identity and heritage of a nation by creating distinctive and original works of
art
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,
such
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 as paintings, sculptures and architecture. These works of
art
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 can not only attract a large number of tourists but
also
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 promote cultural exchange and inspire creativity.
Likewise
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, business
students
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 can boost the economy by providing goods and services, creating jobs and generating income. They can
also
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 stimulate consumer demand and drive supply, which are vital for economic growth and stability.
To sum up
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,
although
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 I acknowledge that
science
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 and technology have a significant contribution to the development of
society
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, I do not agree that the government should allocate more money for
science
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 and technology
students
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 than
students
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 in other fields as they all play a crucial role in improving and enriching
society
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 in their own ways.
Submitted by weezel on

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task achievement
Ensure a balanced development of ideas across all paragraphs, and avoid over-generalization of points to enhance clarity and depth of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a broader range of cohesive devices and vary their usage to enhance the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs.
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