IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some parts of the world it has become an increasingly interesting topic to know about history of family.Do you think it is a positive or a negative development.

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There are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different habits in all the world. Each society has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 culture,
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
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 and thoughts. Some
people
Use synonyms
 like to know the background of others because they feel
exciting
Replace the word
excited
show examples
 when
talk
Change the verb form
talking
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 about
this
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 topic. Personally, I think nobody has a right to ask about the history of other folks because it is not our business. In
this
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 essay, I will shed light on the advantages and disadvantages of asking about the past of family.
To begin
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 with, Talking with other citizens and
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
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 more about their
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 is very interesting. There are some positive points of knowing more about other
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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well
Correct your spelling
will
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 know how to deal with
this
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 person if they know their background.
For instance
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, what
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the limits in the relationship
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Secondly
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, They
feel
Verb problem
have
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 fun and enjoyable time in their free time.
On the other hand
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, talking about other
people
Use synonyms
effect
Verb problem
affects
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on
Change preposition
apply
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our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 negatively . It is
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
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 not useful so we will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
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 our time. They can do something that can improve our skills and abilities.
For example
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, reading books or
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 sports.
In addition
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, Families who follow
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 of others become very hateful and nobody
like
Change the verb form
likes
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 to talk with them.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 they will become very boring and not improve themselves.
To sum up
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, there are
many an interesting things
Correct the article-noun agreement
many interesting things
many an interesting thing
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 we can do
instead
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 of talking about
history
Add an article
the history
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 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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. They should work on themselves to improve their personality and life.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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every one
Replace the word
everyone
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 should stop anyone
tried
Wrong verb form
trying
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 to talk about
other person
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
. Searching
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 knowledge is more important than
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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 details of
people
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument with specific examples or evidence. Your essay includes some examples, but they could be more relevant and specific to reinforce your points.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of ideas by breaking down complex sentences and ensuring each sentence conveys a single clear idea. This will enhance understanding and reduce ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically, with clear connections and transitions between ideas. While the essay is structured, some transitions between points could be smoother to aid reader comprehension.
introduction conclusion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing the general idea effectively.
supported main points
The main points are supported by some examples, illustrating your ability to substantiate your argument.
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