IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most people accept that we now live in globalisation world but not everyone agreees that it is beneficial to what extent is globalization a positive or negative development

#people #globalisation #world #agreees #globalization #development
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It is easy to get connected with each other all around the world thanks to
globalisation
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are arguments about
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 we are in benefits of
globalisation
Use synonyms
whereas
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 some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 disagree with the positive aspects of globalization. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 both positive and negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
globalisation
Use synonyms
 will be discussed.
To begin
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 with, the most prominent reason, cheaper goods are available
as a result
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 consumer have
choice
Add an article
the choice
a choice
show examples
 to select the product as per their capabilities.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 in contacts of
Nepal
Add a comma
Nepal,
show examples
 we get
Northwest
Correct article usage
a Northwest
show examples
 jacket for just 1000 Nepali rupees
as well as
Linking Words
 its original jacket for thousands of rupees and it is up to
people
Use synonyms
 to select as per their financial status.
Additionally
Linking Words
, foreign direct investment increases in a country as
outcome
Add an article
an outcome
the outcome
show examples
 of
this
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countries
Change noun form
country's
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 economic condition will be uplifted.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 Nepal SBI Bank
limited
Capitalize word
Limited
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 which is
joint
Add an article
a joint
show examples
 venture of SBI Bank of India has provided employment
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 in Nepal.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, the negative aspect of
globalisation
Use synonyms
 is cultural impact
as well as
Linking Words
 pollution.
People
Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 days are more attracted by
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 attire which foreigners
wears
Change the verb form
wear
show examples
.
Individual
Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
show examples
 do not want to where there cultural dress which their ancestor
wear
Wrong verb form
wore
show examples
.
Like
Change preposition
For
show examples
 me please
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 national dress is Daura
surwal
Correct your spelling
survival
surreal
 for male and
guyno
Correct your spelling
guy no
gyno
 cholo for women but they like to wear jeans
pant
Fix the agreement mistake
pants
show examples
 ripped jeans and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when more foreign
investor
Fix the agreement mistake
investors
show examples
 come to
established
Change the form of the verb
establish
show examples
 the company
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in causing various
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of pollution. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are various negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
globalisation
Use synonyms
, positive
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 overcome the
negative
Fix the agreement mistake
negatives
show examples
 as it is a source of employment as well
Correct word choice
as economy
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the country.
Submitted by anjubashyal39 on

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task achievement
Expand on and clarify your examples and explanations. For instance, provide more context about globalization's effects on local economies or cultural impacts. Detailed supporting points improve the depth of your response.
task achievement
Work on maintaining clarity in your arguments and supporting ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a main idea that is clearly connected to your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Try to use transitions more effectively to connect your ideas smoothly. Phrases like 'in addition', 'however', and 'as a result', can help improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which articulates the main argument that globalization has both positive and negative impacts.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, discussing both positive and negative aspects of globalization.
coherence cohesion
The argument is logically structured, with distinct sections for positive and negative aspects.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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