Research show that overeating is as harmful ask smoking. Therefore, advertising for certain food products should be banned, in the same way as cigarette advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#research #show #food #products #cigarette #countries

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INTRODUCTION ITS TRUE THE RESEARCH SHOW OF OVEREATING IS AS HARMFUL AS SMOKING AND

ALSO

Linking Words

SOME PACKED AND PROCESSED PRODECTS SHOULD BE BANNED IN THE SAME WAY AS CIGARETTE ADVERTISING IS BANNED IN OTHER COUNTRIES . PEOPLE SHOULD CONSUME HOME COOKED

FOOD

Use synonyms

RATHER THAN FAST

FOOD

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,OR ELSE IT WILL PUT THEIR HEALTH IN DANGER. AGREE: THERE ARE MANY

FOOD

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COMPANIES IN INDIA WHICH HAS MORE BRANCHES AND THEY USE THEIR INNOVATIVE IDEAS TO BRING NEW PRODUCTS TO THE MARKET (eg:BRITANIA HAS STARTED FROM MILK BIKIS BISCUITE TO JIM JIM CREAM BISCUITE).THESE JUNK

FOOD

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HAS MORE ADULTRATIOIN ,

FOOD

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COLOUR,AND CHEMICALS WHICH CAN COAUSE HARM TO HUMAN HEALTH. HARM: THEY TARGET CHILDREN AND MAKE THE BUY IT,AT FIRST THE ADVERTISE THE PRODUCT,

THEN

Linking Words

TRIAL PACKS WILL BE GIVE THROUGH THE GROCERY STORE

ALSO

Linking Words

OTHER SUPER MARKETS,SO THAT IT CAN BE EASILY SOLD.(eg: CADBERRY START FROM CHOCOLATE TO CHOCO BISCUIT)THESE CHOCOLATES ARE CONTAINING WORMS IN IT.IN MAJORITY CHILDREN GET AFFECTED BY EATING THESE JUNK

FOOD

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.THESE PROCESSED

FOOD

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IS ADDED WITH MONOSODIUM GLUTOMATE WHICH IS BANNED IN OUR COUNTRY. CAUSES: WHEN WE START CONSUMING PROCESSED

FOOD

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OUR BODY STARTS BLOTING WITH EXCESS FAT AND THE BODY CYCLE WILL CHANGE. WE MAY BECOME WEAK.THE ORGANES OF THE BODY WILL GET AFFECTED LIKE BLOOD PREASURE,ANEMIA

ALSO

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OTHER DISEASES.(EG:MAGGIE) MAGGIE WAS BANNED IN INDIA .PEOPLE CONSUME WITHOUT KNOWING ITS RISK. CONCLUSION: WE AS A HUMAN SHOULD TAKECARE OF OUR LIVES

ALSO

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OUR NEAR AND DEAR ONE'S LIVES WITHOUT CONSUMING THESE JUNKFOOD, RATHER MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LIFE STYLE WHICH COULD BE HELPFULL FOR OUR FAMILY AND

ALSO

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THE SOCIETY.

Submitted by shivpooja3504 on Wed Jan 01 2025

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Coherence & Cohesion

Focus on providing more structured and balanced arguments that link your main points clearly throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Be sure to include more examples and evidence in support of your claims to strengthen the overall argument.

General

Ensure proper punctuation and sentence structure for improved clarity—this will aid in coherence and ease of reading.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay includes an introduction, a clear point of view, and a conclusion which summarizes the main takeaways effectively.

Task Achievement

You have identified the main issue of food advertising and its adverse health effects, providing clear sections discussing the harm and causes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

10 paragraphs

260 words

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Fully explain your ideas

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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