Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable
It is believed that
subjects
which require an imaginative mind such
as the arts
and creative writing provide discernable advantages to children
. Thus
, efforts should be made to add subjects
like arts
, music, drama and creative writing into the curricula. In my opinion, I fully agree with this
belief as such
subjects
provide many benefits to children
.
To begin
with, arts
in education has
shown to have some therapeutic effects on Wrong verb form
have been
children
. In contrast
to the monotony of classical subjects
like maths, arts
provide a stress free
environment where Add a hyphen
stress-free
children
can freely explore or make their own works of art
. Studies have shown that engaging in artistic activities also
boost
the self-image of Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
children
which is a key self-improvement aspect most school
kids lack in the modern world. With this
knowledge, some schools have started art
programs to help students with emotional dysregulation such
as the ERI K-2 classrooms in New Jersey, USA. Teachers here are licensed professionals who can guide children
on how they can express their fears, anxiety, stress or any emotions on canvas or writing
in a safe, controlled environment.
Change preposition
in writing
Furthermore
, involving children
in the arts
can educate them on their heritage and foreign cultures. Throughout history, the creative arts
have played a crucial role in forming a shared cultural identity. Therefore
, it is essential that children
be exposed to the arts
to fully understand their cultures and traditions. A project called ART4rom has been funded by the European Commission with the aim to educate school
children
on the history and cultures of Roma people in hopes for
better inclusion of Roma people in EU societies. Change preposition
of
Arts
is also
prioritised in American schools through the No Child Left Behind Act passed in 2002. The act considers Arts
a core subject in school
throughout the United States Fix the agreement mistake
schools
due to
tests showing improved academic results from students who took up arts
in school
.
In conclusion, children
can benefit greatly from the advantages creative art
subjects
bring. Therefore
, schools should make an effort to expose children
to arts
as soon as possible by incorporating it
into the current timetable.Correct pronoun usage
them
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and addresses the topic effectively. To improve further, consider adding more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in the use of terms. For instance, you alternated between 'arts' and 'the arts.' Pick one and stick to it throughout your essay for clearer communication.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and well-chosen. To strengthen them further, consider providing a bit more detail or explanation on how each example supports your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and sets up the essay well, which helps the reader understand your perspective from the start.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples, such as the ERI K-2 classrooms and the ART4rom project, to support your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, leaving a strong final impression.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example