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Writing Samples
Band 7

Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #people #groups #country
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Communities that house individuals from different
cultures
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 and backgrounds can create a positive impact on
nations
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 and countries. I stand by the fact that
nations
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 that provide freedom in expressing and celebrating different
cultures
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 cultivate a happy and stable society with lower chances of racial discrimination. Having citizens from a wide range of races and backgrounds can create open-minded individuals who respect all
people
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 regardless of their racial or cultural pasts. Nepal is a good example of a nation
that is
Linking Words
 composed of a wide range of races and communities who practice different religions and
cultures
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. Children who grow up in these societies are usually more accepting of different
people
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 from around the world since they are taught to respect
people
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 regardless of their differences. Discrimination and disrespect of
cultures
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 and not providing a stable environment for unique individuals can create a hateful and negative point of view about them. If a nation starts to target a certain demographic of citizens, others will start to view them negatively.
For example
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, the USSR used to spread propaganda about the American
people
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 during the Cold War just to create a certain stereotype about them. These ideas and rumours can paint a bad picture of a specific community to the point of violent retaliation and discrimination. I think that
nations
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 should support different folk regardless of where they came from or where they grew up, having healthy and accepting societies can create positive enforcement on
people
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 of all ages. Healthy
nations
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 come from happy citizens who love and appreciate each other.
Submitted by miralaltalhi11707 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion, and you consistently support your viewpoint throughout. However, try to more explicitly address possible counterarguments to strengthen your position further.
coherence cohesion
Adding more linking phrases could enhance the flow between your arguments and examples, making it even clearer how each point supports your thesis.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses examples, such as Nepal, to illustrate the benefits of multicultural societies. These specific examples enrich the argument and demonstrate relevance to real-world situations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural fabric
  • traditions and perspectives
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • tolerance and understanding
  • unity in diversity
  • cultural clashes
  • language barriers
  • multilingualism
  • integration
  • translation services
  • prejudice
  • diversity
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