As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Does the advantage of this for individuals outweigh the disadvantage for the environment?
It is undeniable that driving private automobiles by people has extended in developed countries.
Although
using own car Linking Words
instead
of public transportation poses basic benefits for individuals, I think it has Linking Words
further
drawbacks for the Linking Words
environment
Use synonyms
due to
air pollution and energy waste.
Admittedly, substituting private Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
instead
of public vehicles has certain advantages. The first positive aspect is that it provides accessibility to car drivers to transfer anywhere at any time they want. Linking Words
Whereas
public transportation has its own limited-time programs, private Linking Words
cars
result in timesaving. Use synonyms
In addition
, public networks may not be extended through the cities. Linking Words
For instance
, residents who live in less-crowded zones will have challenges finding a public bus or taxi on time. Linking Words
Moreover
, another good point is related to the safety and security of private Linking Words
cars
, Use synonyms
however
, much pickpocketing occurs in crowded buses or metros, evidently.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
, despite the above advantages, driving a private automobile is associated with extra challenges connected to environmental crises. Linking Words
Firstly
, convenient automobiles are fuel-burning Linking Words
cars
, which have devastating effects on both the Use synonyms
environment
and oil supplies. As Use synonyms
cars
work with petrol, more use of them leads to declining limited fuel energy sources. Use synonyms
Secondly
, more engines raise the amount of car emissions and poisonous exhaust fumes, which Linking Words
consequently
causes air pollution and greenhouse gas effects. Linking Words
Lastly
, using more private Linking Words
cars
ultimate to mass production which indirectly affects the Use synonyms
environment
by producing waste accumulations. Use synonyms
For example
, plastics used in Linking Words
cars
are a kind of non-biodegradable waste that lasts in the Use synonyms
environment
for years.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
however
, driving private Linking Words
cars
has some utilities for individuals, but I think its demerits to the Use synonyms
environment
outweigh its merits for individuals.Use synonyms
Submitted by skharratian on
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your essay. While you have a clear structure, some points can be better linked together.
For example, transitions between points within a paragraph can be smoother.
task achievement
Ensure that all the main points are supported by ample evidence and examples. You have mentioned several ideas, but provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
language
There are a few inaccuracies and awkward phrases. Try to read your essay out loud to catch these issues and refine them.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and concise, setting up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, following the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position, reinforcing the main argument made.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?