As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Does the advantage of this for individuals outweigh the disadvantage for the environment?

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It is undeniable that driving private automobiles by people has extended in developed countries.
Although
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using own car
instead
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of public transportation poses basic benefits for individuals, I think it has
further
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drawbacks for the
environment
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due to
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air pollution and energy waste. Admittedly, substituting private
cars
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instead
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of public vehicles has certain advantages. The first positive aspect is that it provides accessibility to car drivers to transfer anywhere at any time they want.
Whereas
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public transportation has its own limited-time programs, private
cars
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result in timesaving.
In addition
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, public networks may not be extended through the cities.
For instance
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, residents who live in less-crowded zones will have challenges finding a public bus or taxi on time.
Moreover
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, another good point is related to the safety and security of private
cars
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,
however
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, much pickpocketing occurs in crowded buses or metros, evidently.
Nonetheless
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, despite the above advantages, driving a private automobile is associated with extra challenges connected to environmental crises.
Firstly
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, convenient automobiles are fuel-burning
cars
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, which have devastating effects on both the
environment
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and oil supplies. As
cars
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work with petrol, more use of them leads to declining limited fuel energy sources.
Secondly
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, more engines raise the amount of car emissions and poisonous exhaust fumes, which
consequently
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causes air pollution and greenhouse gas effects.
Lastly
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, using more private
cars
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ultimate to mass production which indirectly affects the
environment
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by producing waste accumulations.
For example
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, plastics used in
cars
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are a kind of non-biodegradable waste that lasts in the
environment
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for years. In conclusion,
however
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, driving private
cars
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has some utilities for individuals, but I think its demerits to the
environment
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outweigh its merits for individuals.
Submitted by skharratian on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your essay. While you have a clear structure, some points can be better linked together. For example, transitions between points within a paragraph can be smoother.
task achievement
Ensure that all the main points are supported by ample evidence and examples. You have mentioned several ideas, but provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
language
There are a few inaccuracies and awkward phrases. Try to read your essay out loud to catch these issues and refine them.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and concise, setting up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, following the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position, reinforcing the main argument made.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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