IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.
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The graph below compares information about the hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
 for five hospitals in a European country between 2004 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,most of them increased significantly.
While
Linking Words
 Oxley had a dramatic decrease, other hospitals showed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase
progressive
Change preposition
in progressive
show examples
 Bradley slightly increased between 2004 and 2012 having more than 250 weekly hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
 , after
slowly
Replace the word
a slow
show examples
 fall , growth significantly and reaching a
peak
Use synonyms
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 more than 250 weekly hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
 in 2018 . Adlin had incredible success,having around 120 weekly in 2004 .
However
Linking Words
 , made rapidly rose , overtaking
another opponents
Replace the adjective
another opponent
other opponents
show examples
 and
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
incredible
Add an article
the incredible
an incredible
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result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 from 2004 to 2018 reaching a
peak
Use synonyms
250
Change preposition
of 250
show examples
 weekly hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
 in 2018 . Fortsmith
having
Wrong verb form
had
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 less than 200 weekly hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
 in 2004 and
growth
Replace the word
grew
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 moderately
during
Change preposition
over
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 6 years and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a
peak
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than 200 weekly in 2010 .
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 , after fluctuated little and in 2016 slightly
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 before 2018 . Stanton
illustrates
Wrong verb form
illustrated
show examples
 great
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 and increased dramatically,
overtake
Wrong verb form
overtaking
show examples
 Oxley .
While
Linking Words
 it went down and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a
peak
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than , 100 weekly hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
 in 2018 . Oxley
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 moderately and in 2006 ever recovered.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010 went up dramatically and onwards to less ,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 2018 had the worst result .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words admissions, peak with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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