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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Although more and more people use public transport. some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. how can this problem be solved? what is your opinion and relevent example.

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Introduction
Although
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 an increasing number of
people
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use
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 public transport, many
city
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 streets are still overcrowded with traffic. In my opinion,
this
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 problem can be reduced by improving public transportation and introducing policies that discourage
people
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 from using private cars.
Body paragraph 1
One major solution is to make public transport more convenient, reliable and affordable. Many
people
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 continue to drive because
buses
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 and trains may be overcrowded, delayed or unavailable in some
areas
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.
Therefore
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, governments should increase the frequency of
buses
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 and trains, expand routes and provide comfortable facilities.
In addition
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, dedicated bus lanes could help public transportation avoid traffic jams and reach destinations more quickly.
For example
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, if
buses
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 in a large
city
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 run frequently and have separate lanes, commuters may prefer them to driving because they can save both time and money.
Body paragraph 2
Another effective measure is to discourage unnecessary car
use
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. Governments could introduce higher parking fees in busy downtown
areas
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 and charge vehicles that enter highly congested zones. At the same time, cities should develop safe cycling lanes and pedestrian-friendly streets so that
people
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 have alternatives for short journeys.
For instance
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, London has introduced congestion charging in central
areas
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, which is designed to reduce the number of vehicles entering the busiest parts of the
city
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.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, using a combination of these measures would be more effective than relying on only one solution. If public transport is improved
while
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 private-car
use
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 becomes less convenient in crowded
areas
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, more
people
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 are likely to choose
buses
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, trains, cycling or walking.
This
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 would reduce traffic congestion and could
also
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 improve air quality.
Conclusion
In conclusion, overcrowded
city
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 streets can be addressed by improving the quality of public transportation and discouraging unnecessary private-car
use
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. Governments should adopt these measures together to create more efficient and less congested cities.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. You give two clear ways to cut traffic, but you can add one short line about why public transport use is not enough on its own, such as poor links, long waits, or easy car use.
task response
Make your opinion even stronger by saying which step should come first and why. For example, better buses and trains should come before high car charges, so people have a fair choice.
task response
Develop the London example a little more. Say what may happen after the charge, such as fewer cars in the city centre and faster bus trips.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, two main ideas, your view, and conclusion. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links between ideas inside paragraphs. For example, after the point about bus lanes, explain that faster buses make car use less needed.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same words too often, such as “improving” and “use”. You can use simple changes like “make better”, “take”, “travel by”, or “drive”.
task response
You give a full answer with practical ideas: better public transport, car charges, parking fees, cycling, and walking.
task response
Your examples are relevant. The bus-lane example clearly shows why people may leave their cars at home.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear main point and explains it in a logical way.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly brings both main ideas together and restates your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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