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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #visitors #three #london #museums #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to three different museums (National
Gallery
Use synonyms
,
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and Alber
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 and British
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
) in London between 2007 and 2012. Units are
meausred
Correct your spelling
measured
 in
millions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the year
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 was
main
Add an article
a main
the main
show examples
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 in 2012 it
was lose
Wrong verb form
lost
show examples
 their popularity and
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
was constituting
Wrong verb form
constituted
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
. According
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 bar chart Aational
gallery
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
lowest
Add an article
the lowest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 which was just above 5
millons
Correct your spelling
million
,
whereas
Linking Words
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 which was just below 15
millons
Correct your spelling
million
millions
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the next year, there was a
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 decrease in British
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 to approximately 6
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Victoria
Correct article usage
the Victoria
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
Albert
Add the possessive form
Albert's
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
was remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady.
However
Linking Words
, in 2009, after the
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatic
dramatically
 decline in
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 which was nearly 5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, all
museum
Use synonyms
’s
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
were very
show examples
 close to each other.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Victoria
Correct article usage
the Victoria
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
Albert
Add the possessive form
Albert's
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2012 and it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, National
Use synonyms
gallery
Capitalize word
Gallery
show examples
 and British
museums
Fix the agreement mistake
Museum
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 which was 16
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 14
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 respectively.
Submitted by ozkansesen07 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, gallery, victoria, museum, millions, albert with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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