Some people believe that the government should spend money to create more art such as paintings and statues in cities to make them a better place to live to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some would argue that cities should be set more
art
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and creativity paintings by governments investing because they can make our environment better In my
opinion
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opinion,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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totally agree with that idea
Firstly
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, the government added some sculptures and
creating
Verb problem
apply
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paintings can boost more value and culture in the area.
For example
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, in
Paris
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Paris,
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there
s
Correct your spelling
are
a lot of sculptures in the city
not
Correct pronoun usage
that not
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only make our environment perfect but
also
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have
nice
Add an article
a nice
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view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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in
Change preposition
of
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the city.
Moreover
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, public
art
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serves as a catalyst for economic development and tourism.
Art
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installations become focal points of interest, attracting both locals and visitors alike. The presence of captivating artworks stimulates cultural tourism, bolstering local economies and creating employment opportunities.
Furthermore
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, public
art
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fosters community engagement and pride, strengthening social cohesion and enhancing the
overall
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quality of urban life. In conclusion, government funding for public
art
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projects is essential for nurturing artistic talent, enriching cultural experiences, and driving economic growth. By investing in the arts, governments can create more inclusive and dynamic urban environments, where creativity thrives and communities flourish. It is imperative for policymakers to recognize the profound impact of
art
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on society and allocate resources
accordingly
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to ensure its continued prosperity and growth.
Submitted by glace1996 on

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coherence cohesion
For the introduction, it would be helpful to rephrase the opening statement for better clarity and engagement. Consider starting with a more precise statement of the position taken.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are thoroughly supported with detailed examples, particularly from a broader range of contexts than the ones provided.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear and concise opinion (agreeing with the idea of government investing in public art).
supported main points
The essay effectively uses supporting examples, like Paris, to illustrate points.
introduction conclusion present
Concludes with a strong statement advocating for government investment in the arts and summarizing the essay's main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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