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Writing Samples
Band 4

Describe the changes that occured in Central Library over a 20-year period

#changes #library #-year #period
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The maps illustrate the changes that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the Central
Library
Use synonyms
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
 a 20-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of changes and improvements has been made in the
library
Use synonyms
 as a cafe
wa
Correct your spelling
was
 added and the tables and chairs in the middle of the
library
Use synonyms
 were removed to provide more space for
th
Correct your spelling
the
 visitors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
room
Use synonyms
 where lectures are given was added.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
enquirey
Correct your spelling
enquiry
 desk
wa
Correct your spelling
was
 no longer needed as it had been replaced by self-service machines. Once inside the
library
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, a new cafe is on the right side
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
 taken the place of the
enquirey
Correct your spelling
enquiry
 desk which used to be there.
While
Linking Words
, on the left side, there is the compute
room
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 that was previously the reading
room
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, where visitors can read newspapers and magazines. Moving to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
library
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, all the tables and chairs have been removed. To the right
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 there is an information desk with multiple self-service
mechines
Correct your spelling
machines
as well as
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult fiction
books
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. Meanwhile, to the
left
Add a comma
left,
show examples
 there is the place where all the
refference
Correct your spelling
reference
books
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 are organized, where it used to be the area of adult fiction
books
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
room
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 in the top-left of the map was where
CD's
Change noun form
CDs
show examples
 were stored, but a
room
Use synonyms
 for children has now taken its place where children's fiction
books
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 and storytelling events are held. Moving to the top-left
room
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, there is the lecture
room
Use synonyms
 which was occupied by children's
books
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.
Submitted by ruaa.fatoohi on

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introduction conclusion present
Try to provide a conclusion to summarize the changes discussed.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples or details about the changes for clearer illustration.
complete response
The essay provides a comprehensive overview of changes over the 20-year period.
logical structure
Good use of transitional phrases helps in understanding the flow of changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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