IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

modern lifestyles have led to an increase in stress levels among people. what are the causes and effects of this issue?

#lifestyles #stress #levels #people #effects
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In our contemporary world,
stress
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 has become a major issue worldwide, affecting individuals' and
psychical
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physical
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health
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as well as
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 communities.
this
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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 issue to demonstrate the severe impact of
stress
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 in our modern lives.
To begin
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 with, there are many factors behind anxiety. One major cause is that
employnoisyees
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employees
 work long periods of time without any days off.
This
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 could harm both their mental and physical
health
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 if they face depression or exhaustion
due to
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 a lack of work-life balance.
For example
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, one of my friends works overtime in his job to meet the deadline
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at
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in
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 the end he struggles with insomnia.
Moreover
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, many studies have shown that people who consume too much fast food are more likely to suffer
with
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from
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 anxiety because of bad nutrition.
In addition
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, environmental pollution has significantly impacted people's mental
health
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. To illustrate, many people who live in polluted cities suffer from anxiety
due to
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noisy
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noise
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 and carbon emissions. the effects of
stress
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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significantly impact
idividuals
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individuals
 and society. On a personal side,
stress
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 can lead to
health
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 problems
such
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 as high blood pressure,
insonmnia
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insomnia
 and even depression. Over time, these issues can reduce productivity and quality of
live
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life
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. On a
society
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societal
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 side,
stress
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 can
resultes
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result
 in
ecomnomic
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economic
 challenges.
For instance
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,
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 who struggle with high levels of
stress
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 may
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not concentrate on
his
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their
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 tasks effectively, affecting businesses and the
economy
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economy's
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 profits. In conclusion,
modern
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the modern
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 lifestyle
contribute
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contributes
show examples
 to
stress
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 through long working hours, poor diets, and pollution. The effects include serious
health
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 problems and
ecomonic
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economic
 challenges.
Submitted by bkalmutairi01 on

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task achievement
Work on providing more detailed examples to better illustrate your points.
accuracy
Be consistent with the use of precise vocabulary to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow is quite well-maintained, allowing the reader to follow the argument with ease.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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