IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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In the present world,
citizens
Use synonyms
 have been paying a desirable amount of taxes, providing countries with revenue.
While
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 most
people
Use synonyms
 claim that it is a big deal for them as
citizens
Use synonyms
, others believe that there are
further
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 duties that should be done beyond paying levies. Analyzing both arguments from social and economic sides, I think the former opinion proves
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 verifiable with the facts. The circularity of taxation maintains the fund of the
country
Use synonyms
, which
then
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 capitalizes on several sectors within the city.
For instance
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, free education, health centres, and clean surroundings with high trees are being invested in by the government since they have money given by tariffs.
Also
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, authority takes action to mitigate several maladies,
such
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 as violent crime, poverty, and water shortage .
However
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,
citizens
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' responsibilities are integral more than paying taxes. How can
people
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’s efforts bear fruit for countries' prosperity ? Apparently, a
country
Use synonyms
’s future prosperity depends, to an extent, upon the quality of education of its
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, intelligent individuals' efforts carry great weight towards the
country
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.
For instance
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, being a professor of a particular
country
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, the inventions made will be well-known
as well as
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 the
country
Use synonyms
's name.
Moreover
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, farmers entrepreneurs provide most of the
country
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's employment market with either temporary or permanent workplaces.
Furthermore
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, social activities can be prolonged by the community. Being a resident of the place,
people
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 participate in several events,
such
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 as local elections, meetings, and campaigns.
Additionally
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, individuals should advocate for the city's sake whenever they are. Even when they are abroad, they should have respect for their birthplace. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should not only pay taxes monthly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 they should be able to attend social and local occasions. By engaging in these activities,
citizens
Use synonyms
 help build a stronger, more resilient, and prosperous society

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear discussion on both views and provides a well-articulated opinion. However, there are a few aspects you could improve: 1. Avoid redundant phrases such as 'a desirable amount of taxes.' Precise and succinct language will help improve clarity. 2. Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your arguments more convincing and relatable. 3. Work on sentence variety and advanced vocabulary to elevate your essay's quality.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, and the introduction and conclusion are both clearly present. Here are some tips for improvement: 1. Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. This helps in maintaining the flow of the essay and keeps the reader engaged. 2. Avoid repetition of ideas. For instance, mentioning the same responsibilities in different ways can make the essay less cohesive. 3. Proofread your essay to eliminate minor grammatical errors and improve sentence coherence.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion on both viewpoints. You clearly state your opinion and offer a conclusion that aligns with your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are distinct and provide a good framework for your argument. This helps in giving the essay a complete structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contribution to society
  • Public services
  • Community involvement
  • Democratic participation
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Local economy
  • Cultural understanding
  • Voting rights
  • Volunteer work
  • Responsible citizenship
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