**Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television.** **To what extent do you agree or disagree?**

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There is no denying the fact that the main impact of watching live performances in reality is debatable.
While
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,
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there is a commonly held belief that watching live
events
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is much more entertaining than watching them at home, there is
also
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an argument opposite it. In my opinion, I think attending certain
events
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like football matches or live concerts
make
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makes
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you attached to
the
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apply
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them more, especially the interaction of the crowd and fans around you. To start with,
people
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find watching live performances in person is more enjoyable than sitting in their home watching them on television and
that is
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because of the vibrant atmosphere that they experience during these
events
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.
Furthermore
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, they will not be bothered by the long unnecessary advertisements that cut the show once every
while
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.
For instance
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, watching a play in the
theater
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theatre
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let
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lets
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you see the great efforts the actors make in
closer
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a closer
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way.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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get annoyed by crowded
area
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areas
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and the loudness of other
people
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which
affect
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affects
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their concentration on the show or the play.
Therefore
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, they prefer sitting in their
cozy
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cosy
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homes on their couches watching the event on TV without distractions.
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Also
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Also,
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they may get the chance to record the show and watch it again at any time they want. In conclusion, despite
people
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having various views regarding
this
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topic, I believe that attending live performances is a significant opportunity where you come closer to the
events
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as you watch closely actors, players, or the performers and live the moment with them
Submitted by ruaa.fatoohi on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument, particularly illustrative examples for both sides of the debate.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability and engagement of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph focuses on one main idea for better clarity and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining the main argument and summarizing the points discussed.
task achievement
You've effectively identified and argued both perspectives, reflecting a balanced view of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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