IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in foriegn country others say that these are not the only reason why someon should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opninon.

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There are some
individuals
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 who agree that visiting and enrolling in different types
employment
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of employment
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 abroad cause
of
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apply
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learning of new
language
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whereas
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 others prefer that there are other motives to learn
the
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a
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non-native
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language
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.
This
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 essay will provide
the
Correct article usage
an
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 explanation of both perspectives and
according to
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 myself, there are other grounds for
individuals
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 to master the
non-native
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language
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. The most common reasons seem to be based on decreasing the communication gap and improving writing skills for paperwork when visiting overseas. In recent years, the number of
travelers
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travellers
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, who love to enjoy beautiful destinations overseas, has increased and
individuals
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 have to communicate with
non-native
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 people who can communicate in their
language
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 so in
oder
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order
 to tackle
with
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apply
show examples
language
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 barrier difficulty, learning
non-native
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 dialects is essential for visitors.
In addition
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, the employment rate in developed countries is very high which
leads to provide
Verb problem
provides
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 the opportunity for candidates to work with foreign companies. If
worker
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the worker
a worker
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 does jobs abroad, they should have good writing skills so that they can show professionalism in their work. Unless these skills are not achieved, it will be difficult for visitors and workers to survive in a
non-native
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 country,
for instance
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, the United States of America. Listening to songs and watching movies which belong to abroad nations are other motives for
individuals
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 to learn abroad
language
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. After learning a second
language
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, people feel confident in understanding the subtitles of songs and movies which helps them to enjoy more, promoting a sense of belonging and connection with
non-native
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 speakers. Selena Gomez,
for instance
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, is an international celebrity, whose singing is an inspiration for millions of people, who want to pursue their career in
this
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 field,
therefore
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 young generation learning a second
language
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. In conclusion,
although
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individuals
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 learn
non-native
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 languages
due to
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 their interest in media, my views are based on the reasons for visiting and working abroad because
individuals
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 have to have a good command of communication and writing abilities.

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coherence cohesion
Try to provide smoother transitions between the different points of view to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction to make it easier for the reader to understand your perspective from the beginning.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both views of the argument and provides an opinion, covering all parts of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, giving the essay a clear framework.
task achievement
Good use of relevant vocabulary to discuss the topic of language learning.
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