IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

๐Œ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐š๐๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ฅ๐ˆ-๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐œ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฉ๐ก๐จ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ฉ๐ก๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ, ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐œ๐ž. ๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ž๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ? ๐ˆ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ ๐š ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ซ ๐š ๐ง๐ž๐ ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ญ๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐?

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Famous destinations are facing challenges dealing with visitors taking photos of their surroundings, because they feel sharing these memories on social media will make them popular.
This
Linking Words
 ongoing issue is leaving a bad impression on these beautiful places. Local government bodies are trying to ban photography in
such
Linking Words
 locations to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem. With social media at its
peak
Add aย comma
peak,
show examples
 anything can get viral rapidly. Especially, aesthetically appealing photos are getting into the limelight.
Due to
Linking Words
 societal pressure, everyone wants to look cool, so they share their lifestyle. In turn, a lot many will come to know about
such
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 locations instantly. Governments are not prepared to handle
such
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 large crowds at once,
hence
Linking Words
, there are many instances where properties and/or sceneries are destroyed.
For example
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; People are leaving trash at a hiking trek after a scenic view of the landscape goes viral. Another issue is with religious and spiritual places, these places of worship are stormed with tourists because those pictures attract more likes. Henceforth, the same issue is repeated again. Recently, Kedarnath temple, in India, banned the use of smartphones in an attempt to preserve cultural heritage so that these false influencers will not ruin the temple for their personal gains. To sum it all up, we live in a world where social life is valued, henceforth there is a rise in posting photographs.
Additionally
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, followers of these so-called influencers share the photos and let them grow in popularity. Because of
this
Linking Words
 governments are taking precautions to overcome the setbacks. Hopefully, in the near future, we will see more solid reforms and restrictions for
this
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 trend.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear linking phrases.
coherence cohesion
Make sure introductions clearly set up the topic and conclusions offer a cohesive wrap-up with thoughtful reflections or implications.
task achievement
Strengthen your argument by directly linking your observations to broader societal implications or personal reflections.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to further substantiate your claims.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear introduction to the problem and its implications.
coherence cohesion
You effectively highlighted the impact of social media on tourism behaviors.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion offers a thoughtful summary and looks ahead to possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ ยปโ€” a book that's free for ๐Ÿš€ Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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