In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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In certain countries, undergraduate students live at the house with their families
while
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they study.
In contrast
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, some students go to university in another area without their households. Living in a house with parents can be considered advantageous, but I believe that living away from home town has more benefits and it overrides the drawbacks.
To begin
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with, there are some merits of living with families at home
while
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studying as a university student.
Firstly
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,
such
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an environment encourages undergraduates to concentrate on their major without any concerns.
For example
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, they can study only, not about breakfast because their parents would offer every meal to them.
Furthermore
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, they don't need to think about financial problems
such
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as living costs and rental fees.
As a result
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, they achieve their goal with other people's help. Antithetically, if there are individuals living apart from their families and
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
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, they can learn various needed skills for our human life. In most cases, they embark on an independent life and it means many things. First and foremost, they have to deal with expenditures.
For instance
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, they have to be concerned about rental costs or taxes.
For
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this
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reason, they should get a job to tackle the financial issues. It means that they could mingle not only at school but
also
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at the workplace. It is a very good chance to improve their social skills. In conclusion, even though university students who live with their parents or siblings can have advantages,
it is clear that
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 young people who study abroad alone can broaden their horizons by solving many other issues not only their major. It allows them to grow in various parts of our life.
Hence
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, in light of
this
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evidence,
although
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attendance at schools in another region has some negative influences, the pros outweigh the cons.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments, as this would provide stronger evidence for your points.
task achievement
Although your ideas are generally clear, some sentences can be made more concise, especially in the body paragraphs, to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more transitional words and phrases. This will help ideas flow smoothly from one to another.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview and summary of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is effectively maintained through each paragraph, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of living away from home.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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