In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The increasing overweight young population all over the world is concerning the global society.

This

Linking Words

trend could be related to the huge amount of fast food or unhealthy snacks that people use to eat because of economic problems or lack of time. Nowadays, authorities are developing plans to improve childhood obesity. Scientists have been warning for many years about the consequences of not eating healthily;

however

Linking Words

, the interests of the principal processed food industries

as well as

Linking Words

the biggest meat producers are above any other. Being the economic benefits a priority over a healthy society.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the impoverishment of the population with the ridiculous free time that families have available to cook at home is not improving

this

Linking Words

situation.

For instance

Linking Words

, I have been researching about the average calory intake of a child in the United States and I have found out that it is 3 times higher than what it should be,

this

Linking Words

overconsumption of aliments full of fat

such

Linking Words

as sugar and oil, are causing the highest rate of obesity ever registered.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, hope is not lost, nowadays governments and international organizations have been meeting to create global guidelines to tackle the problem. The plans include teaching at schools how to improve the relationship with aliments, advertising regulations, and the creation of safe environments for those who are not able to get healthy and nutritious meals, among others.

For example

Linking Words

, in my town, the local authorities have opened a dining area with warm food for everyone who needs it. To summarize, the obesity-related issue among young people is considered a warning alarm which is being taken seriously by governments. In order to reverse

this

Linking Words

situation, mainly caused by economic resources, measures are being implemented like universal knowledge of how the right choice of aliments can be the ally. As far as I know, scientists

such

Linking Words

as doctors and nutritionists are fighting against it.

lusitusi:) Sun Jan 05 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing more detailed examples or statistics to further support your points. This will enhance the credibility of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by identifying reasons for childhood obesity and suggesting solutions that both individuals and governments can adopt.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, which helps in framing the essay well and providing a strong start and finish.

task achievement

The use of an example from personal research adds authenticity and relevance to the points being made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

childhood obesity
sedentary lifestyle
balanced diet
fast food
sugary snacks
physical activity
nutrition education
health campaigns
public health initiatives
government regulations
home-cooked meals
extracurricular sports
digital entertainment
sedentary behavior

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some people believe that parents of children who attend private schools should not need to contribute to state schools through taxes. Personally, I completely disagree with this view.
8
band
More and more movies are being released directly onto streaming platforms, like Netflix and Disney Plus, rather than being played in cinemas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
The number of films released in cinemas is decreasing significantly, owing to the fact that they are now launched on websites and applications like Netflix and Disney Plus. Although this has numerous benefits like cost efficiency, it reduces family time and the impact of a social message being perceived by society.
7
band
Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 254 words.
The problem of focusing on at school has been alarming in recent years. Numerous pupils are struggling to concentrate on subjects and this definitely affects their performance negatively at school. Among many reasons for this problem, addiction to devices and sleep deprivation are the chief ones. To tackle this problem, teachers and parents should collaborate.
7.5
band
As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Businesses have always sought to make a profit, but it is becoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that companies have. I completely agree that businesses should do more for society than make money.
6.5
band
Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should public money on saving these language, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some argue that governments should allocate funds to save endangered languages, while others believe it would be a waste. To preserve cultural heritage, endangered languages need to be protected. Losing a language means losing unique knowledge, traditions, and ways of thinking.

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

Your opinion

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more movies are being released directly onto streaming platforms, like Netflix and Disney Plus, rather than being played in cinemas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 254 words.

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should public money on saving these language, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.