Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Spending
time
with friends or alone is totally a personal choice,there are two main views on Use synonyms
this
subject one association believes that younglings should spend their free hours in team activities,Linking Words
while
others think it is better to spend their life alone,In Linking Words
this
essay ,I will discuss both views and Linking Words
according to
my opinion ,being involved in organization activities has numerous and countless benefits.
On the one hand, first and foremost,children managing leisure hours by themselves Linking Words
have
some pros,in more detail,it helps them to improve self-confidence, self-control,independence and Correct subject-verb agreement
has
time
management skills,Use synonyms
hence
,it is useful and beneficial for them when they have to stay alone and want to decide in many substantial and significant personal affairs,Linking Words
in addition
,Linking Words
while
kids and younglings are doing and spending on their hobbies and entertainments they can find their interests Linking Words
as a result
,they feel more delightful and happier compared to that period when they are in class participation ,Linking Words
For instance
:some young people who like to a musician can concentrate their proficiency in their idle period ,Linking Words
thus
they may become a talented artist in the future.
Linking Words
On the other hand
,It is evident that it is more important for children to be members of an organisation in their leisure Linking Words
time
.Use synonyms
Firstly
,group work teaches them collaboration, leadership and communication skills which is practical for their personal development in their adult lives,Linking Words
Secondly
, social activities Linking Words
such
as giving donations to needy individuals and helping charities centres have advantages for society ,Linking Words
Finally
,these processes keep them away from drug abuse ,corruption and technological addiction.
In conclusion, I can understand why some parents give rights to their kids to use their extra Linking Words
time
, but it seems to me that teamwork is more advantageousUse synonyms
Submitted by pardisghobadi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one, with clear transitions for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Avoid run-on sentences by using punctuation marks effectively, especially commas and periods.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may affect clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position and summarizing key points.
task achievement
You discussed both views clearly, making sure to cover the benefits of both individual activities and group activities for children.
task achievement
Good use of vocabulary such as 'collaboration,' 'leadership,' and 'self-confidence' that enhances the essay's quality.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.