IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #ebooks #technology #newspaper #magazines
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In recent years, reading all kinds of news or books online rather than on paper has become a subject of considerable debate and analysis.
This
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 essay aims to examine the reason for
this
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 trend and
while
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 I am in consummate accord with
this
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 notion, I will explicate my viewpoint in the forthcoming paragraphs. To better understand why
people
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 are not consuming anymore printed newspapers or books, it is important to consider that the internet and online information play a vital role in shaping our daily lives and influencing the way we interact with the world. It affects young
people
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 and adults in significant ways, providing both opportunities and challenges. Through opening an account in any social network, the web has the potential to bring about infinite information, though it
also
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 requires careful consideration of securing privacy. By focusing on using
this
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 new interactive weapon we can ensure that surfing the internet contributes positively to our future knowledge. Ultimately, improving connections and spreading news all around the world serves as a reminder of the importance of a sense of community in our shared experiences. Continuing forward, it is
also
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 important to consider the benefits that the new technology can bring to our planet.
Therefore
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 it is important for
people
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 to focus on reading digital news. If more time is invested in reading digitally rather than in printed papers, the planet would benefit in regard to less pollution and deforestation.
As a result
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, the quality of air would improve and
people
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's health too. By way of conclusion, I believe there is no contest in regard to which will be the future tools that
people
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 will use to spread any kind of information.
Submitted by 61verme on

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task achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, consider including more specific examples or data to support your argument. This will make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your points are well-structured, some of the sentences could be smoother with better transitions. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction and viewpoint, providing a good start for the reader.
complete response
The importance of technology in terms of both societal interaction and environmental impact is well explained, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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