Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example tiger or blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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People
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have their own perspectives about endangered
animals
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because many
people
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believe that it is unnecessary to conserve them as it is wasteful. In my opinion, I strongly oppose
this
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perspective because I contend that saving endangered
animals
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would bring positive impacts widely. Saving
animals
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can be used for educational purposes, especially for children.
This
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enables children to learn more about wildlife as if they go extinct the children will be unable to understand how valuable those
animals
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are and how they affect sustainability.
For instance
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,
a
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conservation in Indonesia allows students to visit it in order to dig deeper into the
animals
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and how the environment works because it can provide realistic examples by directly showing the
animals
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to them.
As a result
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, they become more knowledgeable and value those
animals
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more.
Furthermore
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, endangered
animals
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play a vital role in the ecosystem. Ecological aspects will be controllable, especially a stable food chain, because the environment will be disrupted if they become extinct, which can
also
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put
people
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in danger. In India,
for example
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, the number of tigers has decreased, which led to extinction, resulting in a higher number of deer as they could grow without having predators.
Consequently
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, those deer overtook the villages and disturbed
people
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since they destroyed their houses and gardens.
Thus
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, the more preserved the
animals
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are, the more stable the ecosystem is, which is why preserving endangered
animals
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is crucial.
To conclude
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, I consider that using money to save those
animals
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would bring more positive consequences as it can support education by providing valuable insights for students and can maintain the ecosystem, which affects
people
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’s lives since they can
also
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live peacefully without
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disturbances.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement, consider expanding on your examples with more detail or additional examples to strengthen your argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on making the transition between paragraphs slightly more seamless, possibly with linking words or phrases to guide the reader more smoothly through your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively encapsulate your main arguments, contributing to good coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Your main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples, particularly the example related to tigers in India, which illustrates the impact of extinction on ecosystems.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
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