Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

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There is no doubt that nowadays, the
health
Use synonyms
problems are likely to increase. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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of treatments, and people can take care
themselves
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of themselves
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before consulting a
doctor
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. In
this
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essay, I will argue that the development of alternative
choice
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choices
show examples
for taking care
yourself
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of yourself
show examples
before seeing a
doctor
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has
positive
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positives
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outweigh
than
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apply
show examples
the negatives
one
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apply
show examples
.
The alternative
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Alternative
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medicines and
treatment
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treatments
show examples
have several positive aspects,
such
Linking Words
as convenience and
save
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saving
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money. It is claimed that there are many ways to isolate and look after yourself after you get sick. Based on my personal experience, in Thailand, there are a lot of pharmacy shops
nearby
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near
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my home. Once, I had an injection from some disease like
influenza
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the influenza
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virus,
then
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I
can
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could
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directly visit the pharmacy
nearby
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near
show examples
my home without the description from
hospital
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the hospital
show examples
. So,
this
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can save time and money. It is believed that the advancement in self-treatment does not have negative effects because
they
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it
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allow
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allows
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people to take care
their
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of their
show examples
minor
health
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easily and quickly. In my experience, as an international student, I lived in Melbourne and at that time, I
have
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had
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an infection from itchiness
by
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in
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my ears, and I visited the
doctor
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to consult with him, after the consultation the
doctor
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wrote the description form for me to buy a medicine in
chemist
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a chemist
show examples
shop in Melbourne, which is inconvenient as same as in my original home.
However
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,
while
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self-treatment may seem convenient, it is important to
recognized
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recognise
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the potential risk. Self-diagnosing and treating
health
Use synonyms
problems by
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
without guidance from
Use synonyms
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
can lead to misunderstanding. In conclusion,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
treatment by
ourself
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ourselves
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is helpful for minor help problems because it is convenient and
cost saving
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cost-saving
show examples
.
While
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they are not
mean
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meant
show examples
to replace the guidance from consult with doctors, they can be very effective for managing minor
health
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issues.
Overall
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, the growth of alternative options is
positive
Correct quantifier usage
more positive
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than
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
show examples
.
Submitted by p.thongketkaew on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly stated in the introduction and restated in the conclusion. This will create a cohesive narrative throughout your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to address both the positive and negative sides more comprehensively to fully answer the prompt.
task achievement
Try to expand your explanations and reasoning to make your ideas more persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
You have thoughtfully discussed the convenience and cost-effectiveness of alternative medicine as positive aspects.
task achievement
You used personal experiences effectively to illustrate your points in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is beneficial for readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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