Zoos should be banned because it is cruel to keep wild animals in captivity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#zoos #animals #captivity

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There is no denying the fact that the main impact of building

zoos

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is debatable.

While

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there is a commonly held belief that

animals

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should live freely in the wild and should not be kept in captivity, there is

also

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an argument that opposite

this

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idea. In my opinion, I think that

zoos

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should not be banned as they provide the perfect environment for the

animals

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which are near extinction. And other benefits that I will discuss in

this

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essay. To start with, some people think that

zoos

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are not the place to keep

animals

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who used to live in the forest hunting and running long distances. Because,no matter how big

zoos

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are well organized and big, the spaces that are made for each species are small compared to their original homes in nature.

Furthermore

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, a number of these

animals

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are used to chase and hunt prey,

whereas

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now their food is placed in their cages directly.

Moreover

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this

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will affect their natural behaviour in the future if they are released again in the wild. Another point of view, endangered

animals

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are better to be in

such

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places to ensure their safety.

In addition

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, to avoid gangs from killing them and take advantage of their skins. Especially rare

animals

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For example

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, many species underwent extinction

due to

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illegal hunting in previous years. In conclusion, despite people having different views regarding

this

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topic, I believe that putting

animals

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zoos

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is considered a reasonable method to protect them,

as well as

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a significant location where people can be educated about these different species.

Submitted by ruaa.fatoohi on Fri Jan 10 2025

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task achievement

Ensure your arguments are more balanced by providing both advantages and disadvantages of zoos clearly before reaching a conclusion. This will display a more complete response to the task.

task achievement

Use specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve logical flow by using more cohesive devices and transitions between ideas.

task achievement

Provide more supporting points for your main ideas to develop them fully. This could include statistics, quotes, or more detailed explanations.

introduction conclusion

The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives on the topic and states your position.

coherence cohesion

The essay is structured with clear paragraphs for different points, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Zoos should be banned because it is cruel to keep wild animals in captivity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qualification for successful work?

Due to poorer countries experiencing a brain drain they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more develped countries. what problems does this cause what solutions can be suggested to deal with this situation?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol. Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?