IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have organized 90th birthday of your relative and invited elderly guests also. It was a successful party. Write a letter to the hotel manager to provide the feedback. In your letter you should tell When the party was Why it was successful Thank for a staff member who was really helpful

Dear Manager, Hope you are doing great! I am writing
this
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 letter to thank you for your incredible
hotel
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 services. I had organised a party for my uncle on his 90th birthday at your
hotel
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 'Sunrise
Hotel
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' Mississauga branch on 28th May. As my uncle is aged enough, thereby, many of his friends and co-workers are
also
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 of similar age,
hence
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, I was looking for special services for aged people, and your office
staff
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 did a commendable job ranging from greeting them to serving food, help in dancing till goodbye time. I do not have enough words to describe
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how grateful
I'm
Correct your spelling
I am
show examples
 for your
staff
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 services. Your personnel was very kind, polite and willing to help others. Without their assistance, it was likely impossible that my uncle and his agemates enjoy
this
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 day to their best. One of the best moments was, when your
staff
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 helped them to stand, and they did light dancing just because your faculty members held them. In future, whenever, I have to arrange any parties or events, I will surely book your
hotel
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. Once again, A special thanks to your all
staff
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 members. Yours faithfully, Alicia Liberty

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task achievement
Consider adding a brief closing sentence that summarizes your appreciation.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Ensure the greeting is warm but also formal, given the context.
task achievement
You expressed gratitude effectively, which enhances the tone of the letter.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter provides specific examples of the staff's helpfulness, making it more impactful.
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