16. Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted on the media. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
The detailing
the
criminal report has negative effects Change preposition
of the
in
many perspectives, Change preposition
from
some
information should be restricted in the media. I totally agree with Correct word choice
and some
this
statement. The following reasons and examples will be discussed below.
Linking Words
First,
it is well known that the news regularly reveals the criminal details which include the terrorist and the victim side. Terrorist is raised to be a specific topic more than another many times. Linking Words
This
leads to giving the spotlight on the ones being wrong and makes them feel valued to do those actions. Linking Words
Hence
, the terrorist’s details should not be broadcast to make sure that people will focus on what the sufferer dealing with. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
according to
the big tragedy in Finland in 2017 killed a huge number of innocent people in a rural area, the government at that time declared that the names of terrorists would not be reported on any TV show for not giving the existence of Linking Words
this
murderer. Linking Words
In addition
, narration about how the criminal is performed should be prohibited as well to protect a copy of these practices , especially in the juvenile who does not exactly know what is right or wrong.
What’s more, Reporting too much personal sufferer data can be even the dangerous in case if the murderer has not been caught and makes an opportunity to revenge Linking Words
the
victim again. Change preposition
on the
Hence
, informing Linking Words
such
content is likely to be harmful to the victim more useful. To exemplify, the psychiatrist of Cambridge Medical School discussed the famous murder done by a soldier in Thailand Linking Words
is
one of the examples of revealing too much info about the injured one that leads to the increasing number of deaths. Correct your spelling
as
Furthermore
, the reporter’s opinion ought to not be presented to the viewers in each case. The presenter must give only the facts to the people to let the watcher decide and take their own considerations for diminishing the hate in the society.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I agree that the detailed criminal description in newspapers and TV has a lot of negative impacts which can cause Linking Words
further
worse situations and wrong focus. Many topics should be stopped Linking Words
reporting
on platforms to maintain the necessary content to not be misunderstood.Change preposition
from reporting
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using more linking words to better guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas in each paragraph to ensure the reader fully understands your points. Try to elaborate more on each argument presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your argument.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples were used to support the main points, helping to justify the arguments.