15. Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There is the perspective that allowing
children
Use synonyms
to make their own decisions in daily life tends to have the
children
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think about their own.
However
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, some people believe that
this
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skill is crucial for the youth. Both sides will be explained
along with
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my opinions and relevant examples.
First,
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although
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being alone is common these days, individuals need to prioritize themselves mainly. It seems disgusting not to think about other people. Training teenager how to make their own ways can probably lead to self-centring because of a lack of caring for others.
Moreover
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, commoners normally tend to be concerned about themselves and have less interaction with others. Allowing the
children
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to select their own path might stop communicating with ones that should be a future relationship and commune.
For example
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, The questionnaire revealed that 80 per cent of the younger generation who feel normal to make a decision by themselves have less empathy and socialization compared to those who are uncertain about deciding matters.
On the other hand
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, one of the most important advantages of letting the child select their own choices is living in the future without a guardian which is a big part of becoming an adult. Ageing comes
along with
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responsibilities that need to be handled and managed by themselves.
Moreover
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, deciding their own choices can lead to what someone really desires, not what others tell them to do. Self-knowing is the one essential skill that
children
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should be trained in
while
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they are young to create a future dream life.To exemplify, the pediatric psychiatrist of Harvard Medical School suggested that parents should leave some space for letting their kids choose an alternative and get the lesson from what is done to them to construct self-awareness which is the key to getting older.
To conclude
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, letting the young one make a decision on everyday matters affects individuals to have less conversation and create selfishness which leads to each person to think only their own story
while
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some individuals have a belief that the kid should consider and decide the way by themselves for dealing with maturity and searching their own soul.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your arguments are supported consistently with specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more varied linking devices and ensure a smooth flow between your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline and summarize the topic and main viewpoints.
task achievement
You addressed both perspectives of the argument well, showing a balanced discussion.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is clear with separate paragraphs for each viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • independence
  • critical thinking
  • collective well-being
  • selfishness
  • overemphasis
  • real-world situations
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • boundaries
  • guidance
  • moderation
  • maturity
  • decision-making power
  • personal growth
  • social awareness
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