IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Public libraries rovide a large collecction of books to read. Somepeople argue that they should also provide other high tech facilities like computer, internet, CD's and DVD's. Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #rovide #collecction #books #somepeople #tech #facilities #computer #internet #cd #dvd
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In
this
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 day and age, traditional sources of information,
such
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 as physical
books
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, have evolved to
offer
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 a broad range of digital formats,
such
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 as
CD's
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CDs
show examples
,
DVD's
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DVDs
DVD
show examples
 and files uploaded on the internet.
Although
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 a portion of society derives so much pleasure from acquiring
books
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 from libraries, others
asume
Correct your spelling
assume
 that these places should
offer
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 additional digital sources rather than just
books
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. From my point of view, I
partial
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partially
show examples
 agree with the stated notion, as I believe libraries might allow people to use computers, connected to the internet, since these are vital tools for the community. In
this
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 essay, I will share some arguments to support my viewpoint. It is quite vital, that every book room should
allows
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allow
show examples
 computers to their users as it could be
such
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a
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an
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 essential tool to administer the entire book list;
in addition
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, these devices might
offer
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 plenty of information, on the internet, to enforce every investigation.
For instance
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, several universities
offer
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to
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apply
show examples
their students both, a list of physical
books
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 and tons of E-
books
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; in
this
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 way, they can choose the perfect pathway of their study. Neither,
CD's
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CDs
show examples
 nor
DVD's
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DVDs
show examples
 should
books
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 room storage
,
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apply
show examples
 since these formats are complex to play as hardly, do players exist yet in users' houses.
Moreover
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,
younger
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the younger
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 generation
are
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is
show examples
 not familiar with the usage of these devices,
as well as
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, these can be easily damaged and replaced provoking,
as a result
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, more
wastes
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waste
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 to the environment. In conclusion, modern libraries should implement computers to complement every user's research. Sources of information in older formats ,like
discks
Correct your spelling
discs
decks
disks
, could be unusual in
this
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 modern era.
Due to
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this
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 fact, these can be omitted.
Submitted by oscarsanmo on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific studies, articles, or surveys that demonstrate the benefits or drawbacks of offering digital resources in libraries. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph clearly builds on the previous one. Try using linking words or phrases to connect ideas smoothly, such as "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "On the other hand."
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures for clarity and engagement. Shorter sentences can be more impactful when delivering key points, while longer, complex sentences can be used to explore ideas in detail.
task achievement
You clearly present your point of view in the introduction, establishing a balanced perspective on the issue. This sets a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a clear summary of your ideas, reiterating the main points effectively. This helps in leaving a strong impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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