Does being famous have more advantages or more disadavantages?
Nowadays, more and more
people
are highly likely to be famous. They think famous people
always have a wonderful life
with plenty of money and don’t have to worry. In fact, being famous and having fame has both benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, becoming a celebrity brings more disadvantages than advantages.
On the one hand, there are several benefits of being a famous person. Firstly
, they might be wealthy because of their high salaries. Famed people
have many income streams, they are invited to be ambassadors for a brand, and they are also
booked for advertisements or events. The second positive aspect is that well-known people
receive many exclusive rights and favours. Because of becoming brand ambassadors, they are given many special gifts from those brands, additionally
, they also
have the opportunity to travel for free and get involved in many remarkable events. Thirdly
, becoming a celebrity also
helps expand relationships. They easily meet and make friends with other celebrities
through events or shows which can help to create more opportunities for cooperation and development.
On the other hand
, becoming a renowned person also
has some drawbacks. First and foremost, they do not have a private life
. Famous people
are always followed by paparazzi and reporters everywhere. Even if they are sick, eating out or walking, photographers still take pictures of them. Secondly
, celebrities
always suffer from stress because they are under pressure from the public. Not only that, they also
have to face criticism, false statements, and scandals, moreover
, these things can lead to the breakdown of their career and image. Additionally
, they will lose balance in their life
. Busy work schedules and high job requirements make it difficult for renowned people
to maintain a balance between work and life
. The last
problem of having fame is they have to keep a perfect image in the eye of the public. This
requires them to be careful in every action and word which makes celebrities
always stressed and prone to making mistakes.
In conclusion, becoming a renowned person is difficult but also
beneficial. However
, I reckon that being famous has more drawbacks than its advantages. Celebrities
have to suffer from stress, and if they make mistakes, they will be the focus of criticism.Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on
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coherence cohesion
To further improve your coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases within paragraphs. This will make the flow of your essay even smoother.
task achievement
Be sure to provide slightly more specific examples to thicken your arguments and make them more compelling. This way, your ideas will be better supported.
coherence cohesion
Continue to ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. This helps in maintaining clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to elaborate slightly more on your conclusion to recap the main points in detail. This will help to provide a stronger closing argument.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the topic and provided a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of being famous.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The points raised are logical and well-organized, contributing to a cohesive argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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