Does being famous have more advantages or more disadavantages?

#disadavantages

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Nowadays, more and more

people

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are highly likely to be famous. They think famous

people

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always have a wonderful

life

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with plenty of money and don’t have to worry. In fact, being famous and having fame has both benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, becoming a celebrity brings more disadvantages than advantages. On the one hand, there are several benefits of being a famous person.

Firstly

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, they might be wealthy because of their high salaries. Famed

people

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have many income streams, they are invited to be ambassadors for a brand, and they are

also

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booked for advertisements or events. The second positive aspect is that well-known

people

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receive many exclusive rights and favours. Because of becoming brand ambassadors, they are given many special gifts from those brands,

additionally

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, they

also

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have the opportunity to travel for free and get involved in many remarkable events.

Thirdly

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, becoming a celebrity

also

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helps expand relationships. They easily meet and make friends with other

celebrities

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through events or shows which can help to create more opportunities for cooperation and development.

On the other hand

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, becoming a renowned person

also

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has some drawbacks. First and foremost, they do not have a private

life

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. Famous

people

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are always followed by paparazzi and reporters everywhere. Even if they are sick, eating out or walking, photographers still take pictures of them.

Secondly

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celebrities

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always suffer from stress because they are under pressure from the public. Not only that, they

also

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have to face criticism, false statements, and scandals,

moreover

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, these things can lead to the breakdown of their career and image.

Additionally

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, they will lose balance in their

life

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. Busy work schedules and high job requirements make it difficult for renowned

people

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to maintain a balance between work and

life

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. The

last

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problem of having fame is they have to keep a perfect image in the eye of the public.

This

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requires them to be careful in every action and word which makes

celebrities

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always stressed and prone to making mistakes. In conclusion, becoming a renowned person is difficult but

also

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beneficial.

However

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, I reckon that being famous has more drawbacks than its advantages.

Celebrities

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have to suffer from stress, and if they make mistakes, they will be the focus of criticism.

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Wed May 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further improve your coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases within paragraphs. This will make the flow of your essay even smoother.

task achievement

Be sure to provide slightly more specific examples to thicken your arguments and make them more compelling. This way, your ideas will be better supported.

coherence cohesion

Continue to ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. This helps in maintaining clarity and coherence throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Try to elaborate slightly more on your conclusion to recap the main points in detail. This will help to provide a stronger closing argument.

task achievement

You have successfully addressed the topic and provided a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of being famous.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The points raised are logical and well-organized, contributing to a cohesive argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

374 words

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Does being famous have more advantages or more disadavantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some companies encourage workers to be competitive, while others encourage temawokr. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Developing countries require international organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

All students ought to study art and music in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?