IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

An increasing number of doctors and professors are leaving their poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does it cause and what are the solutions.

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A rising sum of
doctors
Use synonyms
 and professors are leaving their poorer nations to work in grown states.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore how poorer
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 will get no cure for serious diseases and
students
Use synonyms
 get
meagerly
Change the word
meagre
show examples
 marks can be considered as the leading causes of
this
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 concern, and how through the great offers of salaries and eco-friendly services,
this
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problem
Use synonyms
 can be curtailed.
Firstly
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, communities of improvised states
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
 not get curable
treatment
Use synonyms
 can be labelled as the root cause of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
. As there will be
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
 of
doctors
Use synonyms
 in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 nations and people
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 unable to travel
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
 country for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
treatment
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, if any person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a cancer disease and there are not experienced
doctors
Use synonyms
 to treat it.
In contrast
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, it can
also
Linking Words
 lead to
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
 of the patients.
Thus
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, incurable
treatment
Use synonyms
 of humans can be considered as the fueling force behind
this
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 issue.
Secondly
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, apart from no treatments
will be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 available for poorer countries people,
students
Use synonyms
 are unable to get
an appropriate marks
Correct the article-noun agreement
appropriate marks
an appropriate mark
show examples
 is
also
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 a major contributing factor
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
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 menace. If there are no professors for
students
Use synonyms
 to teach them accurately. How
students
Use synonyms
 can do study.
For instance
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, in Afghanistan, there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of education because there is no one to teach the
students
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
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, the educators individuals move abroad.
Hence
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,
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact on the
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 studies can be considered as the breeding ground of
this
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 concern.
However
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, there are certain viable measures, that can be taken to curb the
problem
Use synonyms
.The primary solution I believe would be high salaries. If
doctors
Use synonyms
 and professors are getting good pay
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will stay in their nations
Furthermore
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,
eco-friendly
Correct article usage
an eco-friendly
show examples
 environment can
also
Linking Words
 be an effective solution. As there should be
assistant
Replace the word
assistance
show examples
 from them and
also
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 provide them with major services. To
sum-up
Correct your spelling
sum up
show examples
, even though
unavailability
Correct article usage
the unavailability
show examples
 of
treatment
Use synonyms
 for serious diseases and
students
Use synonyms
 getting
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 grades are extremely widespread in many countries, I believe through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective salaries and
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
 environment,
this
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problem
Use synonyms
 can be tackled.

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coherence cohesion
Consider developing a more logical flow between paragraphs. Transition smoothly from one point to the next to enhance readability.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the task, discussing both problems and solutions.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion help encapsulate the main points of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Human capital flight
  • Developing countries
  • Developed countries
  • Healthcare system
  • Educational sector
  • Medical expertise
  • Foreign aid
  • Economic disparities
  • Professional retention
  • Work incentives
  • Infrastructure
  • Temporary migration
  • Knowledge transfer
  • Telemedicine
  • E-learning
  • Mentorship
  • International cooperation
  • Manpower
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